Ride on! I mean, write on… difficulties, barriers, discouragement, and all. More, in today's story column, below. (Picture of our daughter, Jackie)
une embûche (ahm-bewsh)
: pitfall, obstacle; difficulty; piège, or trap set for someone
Audio File: listen to Jean-Marc pronounce today's word and the following examples: Download MP3 or Wav file
semer d'embûches = to load/fill with obstacles/challenges
une question pleine d'embûches = a loaded question
A chaque chemin ses embûches, chaque humain un jour trébuche. Each road has its pitfalls, every human, his a day of faltering. —Daniel DesbiensIn Books:
- The Little Paris Kitchen: 120 Simple But Classic French Recipes. Click here.
- Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. Click here to read the reviews
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
One Page at a Time
A broken barrier is just one of the rewards that have come out of this decision to write my personal narrative. I have come across many obstacles on this writing path, but perhaps the biggest one has to do with my method of churning out a story.
Though the particular writing technique I use also happens to be the secret to my productivity, it is, ironically, the very reason I stay stuck, unable to create more than a vignette, an anecdote, or an essay….
You see, for ten years I have practiced writing before a blog audience. In this very post, the one you are now reading—very likely via email—I taught myself to write. To put it differently, your inbox has been my classroom and you have been the attentive, if accidental, teacher.
My compositions are read le jour J, that is, the very day the story is written, most often in the hours that follow publication. The moment I hit "publish", it's too late to go back. The story is on its way through cyberspace, soon to arrive in your inbox. No way to reach into your Gmail or Yahoo or AOL account and add the needed comma or the missing modifier—not that I know what one of those is. I'm still learning–grammar, punctuation, precision and, lately how to be a relaxed writer. ("Free write!" you say, and I am reminded, among other things, to let loose!)
The growing pressure to say what I have to say by the lurking deadline is just the ticket I need to eke out (BTW, you taught me to spell it eke, and not eek) another story. It is thanks to you, the reader, that I am able to quickly narrow down a topic and set to writing about it. As I write, I edit and fine-tune, aware that the clock is ticking, this story–in whatever state it finds itself–will soon go out to a live audience. Are the words clear enough? Have I said all I meant to say? Will you still like me after this latest installment? Am I supposed to care? How could I not care?!…
This brings me to the "tell-all" memoir I mentioned last week. After reading your emails and letters, I have decided to write the first draft of the book "off blog", in private. And here is where I am confronted with my biggest writing barrier: after writing for an audience, can I write for myself? Won't I fall off the wagon?
Without you, to report to, could I churn out more that a few paragraphs without a "live" deadline? Would a self-imposed deadline be enough? Would I respect it? Would I take it seriously, feel the pressure innately?
All one can do is try. I began trying this week, to break down that barrier that I had put up when I told myself I can only write under these specific conditions–and no other!
And now for the good news…. Alone in my writing nook, I have completed the final two parts of chapter one!
Though I have finished the first draft of chapter 1, all 15 pages, the rest of the narrative looms ahead of me. Last night I had a "will never realize this dream of memoir-writing, what was I thinking" moment. The future is riddled with doubt, and if I focus beyond the current "page", I will never make it.
Or, as my very loving sponsor reminds me, "You will make it, Darling Heart, you will—one day at a time.
Any kind of buzzer could be used to signal a deadline. For today's writing deadline, I'm using these cowbells! Ring-a-ling-ling! Time is up now… this edition is going out…
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Please return to writing about your life in your new Provencal community. I miss reading about your everyday life and am put off by writing about writing. If you wish to, like many Americans, write a “tell all”, surely you can continue writing about the thing we love to read about: France.
Please return to writing about your life in your new Provencal community. I miss reading about your everyday life and am put off by writing about writing. If you wish to, like many Americans, write a “tell all”, surely you can continue writing about the thing we love to read about: France.
Karene, glad you mentioned Anns encouragement . When i read it i thought about her efforts to get my first book published! Re the seeming unstuckness in the blog posts… If you had witnessed the scene in my writing nook this morning: Jean-Marc and the plumber tromping through the room, then back again with questions about where we wanted to put the unsightly bathroom pipes.. Did it all require an answer now?, when a blog story was flapping its wings, trying to get off the ground? I tried and tried, and finally, the story eked out… Thanks for reading!
Karene, glad you mentioned Anns encouragement . When i read it i thought about her efforts to get my first book published! Re the seeming unstuckness in the blog posts… If you had witnessed the scene in my writing nook this morning: Jean-Marc and the plumber tromping through the room, then back again with questions about where we wanted to put the unsightly bathroom pipes.. Did it all require an answer now?, when a blog story was flapping its wings, trying to get off the ground? I tried and tried, and finally, the story eked out… Thanks for reading!
Wow – reading the above comments blesses my heart,I can only imagine how they encourage your heart. You have a world-wide support group, nothing to fear. Don’t fret about the little stuff like punctuation. That’s what editors are for. I’ve taught English for years and am still confused by grammar. I never remember that the ‘ goes OUTSIDE the period.
Wow – reading the above comments blesses my heart,I can only imagine how they encourage your heart. You have a world-wide support group, nothing to fear. Don’t fret about the little stuff like punctuation. That’s what editors are for. I’ve taught English for years and am still confused by grammar. I never remember that the ‘ goes OUTSIDE the period.
Speaking of cowbell, you have got to go to youtube and look up “More Cowbell”. It was a Saturday Night Live skit. C’est hilarant!
Speaking of cowbell, you have got to go to youtube and look up “More Cowbell”. It was a Saturday Night Live skit. C’est hilarant!
Yep, you have your own in-house editor/cheerleader rolled into one. I am assuming “You will make it, Darling Heart,” is your wonderful mother. You’ll do just fine on your own with family by your side and without your hundreds/thousands of faithful fans. We’re still there in heart and spirit, cheering from the proverbial sidelines.
Yep, you have your own in-house editor/cheerleader rolled into one. I am assuming “You will make it, Darling Heart,” is your wonderful mother. You’ll do just fine on your own with family by your side and without your hundreds/thousands of faithful fans. We’re still there in heart and spirit, cheering from the proverbial sidelines.
Sometimes the biggest obstacle to the realization of whatever it is we have set ourselves is the ‘pressure’ we begin to feel to meet our own and what we perceive to be others expectations. When this happens, we can easily lose the essence of why we began on this path in the first place. I find that if I can step back and say, “What would happen if I didn’t finish this – on time, on budget, … at all?” Would my world fall apart? Would my family love me less? Would my life as I know it stop?” And the answer is always, “Of course not. I could put this down and pick it up again when it feels right for me… or not at all.” Then the opportunity arises, free from the pressure, to revisit why I started this in the first place. What does this mean to me? What did I want from this?
Perhaps self-knowledge through reflection… perhaps a sense of who I am by reflecting on my life. Whatever this is, that is the essence of your journey. It is not about being perfect… as a writer, a mother, a wife, a friend… it is about searching to understand more deeply about who you are and the path you are on. Write for yourself, dear Kristin, search your own heart in peace and reflection and feel the healing power of what you learn in the process. Forget about us, you audience. Forget about the publishers, forget about timelines. Ultimately these are not important in this process; it is about you and the peace and knowledge that will come to you through your reflection. It is not an easy path to undertake this search and there will be pain as you already know. In this context, it doesn’t matter if what you are working on is ever published unless you decide you want it to be. Take your time, this is your life you are reflecting on – you are learning more about you as you go. This path is your path, proceed in a way that meets your needs and never stop loving yourself in the process.
Sometimes the biggest obstacle to the realization of whatever it is we have set ourselves is the ‘pressure’ we begin to feel to meet our own and what we perceive to be others expectations. When this happens, we can easily lose the essence of why we began on this path in the first place. I find that if I can step back and say, “What would happen if I didn’t finish this – on time, on budget, … at all?” Would my world fall apart? Would my family love me less? Would my life as I know it stop?” And the answer is always, “Of course not. I could put this down and pick it up again when it feels right for me… or not at all.” Then the opportunity arises, free from the pressure, to revisit why I started this in the first place. What does this mean to me? What did I want from this?
Perhaps self-knowledge through reflection… perhaps a sense of who I am by reflecting on my life. Whatever this is, that is the essence of your journey. It is not about being perfect… as a writer, a mother, a wife, a friend… it is about searching to understand more deeply about who you are and the path you are on. Write for yourself, dear Kristin, search your own heart in peace and reflection and feel the healing power of what you learn in the process. Forget about us, you audience. Forget about the publishers, forget about timelines. Ultimately these are not important in this process; it is about you and the peace and knowledge that will come to you through your reflection. It is not an easy path to undertake this search and there will be pain as you already know. In this context, it doesn’t matter if what you are working on is ever published unless you decide you want it to be. Take your time, this is your life you are reflecting on – you are learning more about you as you go. This path is your path, proceed in a way that meets your needs and never stop loving yourself in the process.
I always enjoy reading your blog and the best of luck pour le futur!
Just one nit-picky thing: practice (with ‘ice’ at the end) is the noun and practise (with ‘is’) is the verb. So, it’s I/We practised, not ‘practiced’. I always used to get this wrong until somebody told me the ‘ice’ and ‘is’ way of remembering them. Hope that doesn’t sound too pedantic, as it’s not meant to. Looking forward to your next blog!
I always enjoy reading your blog and the best of luck pour le futur!
Just one nit-picky thing: practice (with ‘ice’ at the end) is the noun and practise (with ‘is’) is the verb. So, it’s I/We practised, not ‘practiced’. I always used to get this wrong until somebody told me the ‘ice’ and ‘is’ way of remembering them. Hope that doesn’t sound too pedantic, as it’s not meant to. Looking forward to your next blog!
Dear Kristi,
At least you are working on your memoir, which is more than I’m doing on my attempt to write about my 53 year old marriage in homage to my deceased husband. It’s so easy to get distracted. Some great writers say they get up and write 4 (or some number) hours a day, whether they know the aim or not. Now that’s discipline! Why don’t you consider the FWAD a warmup and then switch to the big project, giving yourself a change of pace. And my precious young friend, a book such as yours takes TIME. Many rewrites, perhaps. Just write, write, write -0 then take a break and live, live, live. You don’t have to finish your memoir quickly. Just work on it until you’re satisfied. We’re all rooting for you.
Dear Kristi,
At least you are working on your memoir, which is more than I’m doing on my attempt to write about my 53 year old marriage in homage to my deceased husband. It’s so easy to get distracted. Some great writers say they get up and write 4 (or some number) hours a day, whether they know the aim or not. Now that’s discipline! Why don’t you consider the FWAD a warmup and then switch to the big project, giving yourself a change of pace. And my precious young friend, a book such as yours takes TIME. Many rewrites, perhaps. Just write, write, write -0 then take a break and live, live, live. You don’t have to finish your memoir quickly. Just work on it until you’re satisfied. We’re all rooting for you.
There are some advantages to writing a blog (which as you point out has disadvantages) you write quickly and send it off without time to rewrite, rethink, edit, etc. My suggestion is that you write your memoir that same way – write on it every day – but instead of sending it out, consider that page done. Don’t reread, edit, start over, or think too much about what you said or where it is going. It is more important at this point to keep moving on. When you are done, you will have a better idea about how it will all fit together.
There are some advantages to writing a blog (which as you point out has disadvantages) you write quickly and send it off without time to rewrite, rethink, edit, etc. My suggestion is that you write your memoir that same way – write on it every day – but instead of sending it out, consider that page done. Don’t reread, edit, start over, or think too much about what you said or where it is going. It is more important at this point to keep moving on. When you are done, you will have a better idea about how it will all fit together.
I am a sometime reader and occasional comment-maker, retired French and English teacher, avid if not professional photographer, who enjoys reading your blog. I always come away with something. Today, I read the word “embuche”, and thought to myself, perhaps this is where the English word “ambush” comes from. If nothing else, you’ve piqued my interest about your upcoming memoirs. Procrastination seems to be an inevitable part of any craft, especially writing. But as I’ve learned and try to live, there is no time but the present. Do not wait for the right time; the right time is now!
I am a sometime reader and occasional comment-maker, retired French and English teacher, avid if not professional photographer, who enjoys reading your blog. I always come away with something. Today, I read the word “embuche”, and thought to myself, perhaps this is where the English word “ambush” comes from. If nothing else, you’ve piqued my interest about your upcoming memoirs. Procrastination seems to be an inevitable part of any craft, especially writing. But as I’ve learned and try to live, there is no time but the present. Do not wait for the right time; the right time is now!
Hi Kristin,
I love reading your stories — they have wisdom, energy and heart. I think you need to do what is best for you. Your memoirs sound very interesting, and I know many will read them.
You are very talented so run with it!
A sunny day on the Oregon coast! Yeah.
Stay well!
Hi Kristin,
I love reading your stories — they have wisdom, energy and heart. I think you need to do what is best for you. Your memoirs sound very interesting, and I know many will read them.
You are very talented so run with it!
A sunny day on the Oregon coast! Yeah.
Stay well!
Learning a new writing style is so difficult!! Currently having given up social work to write articles I have to drop the formal, legal style of child protection for the light, chatty magazine style I need now, and its hard. But I remember when the language, rythmn and style of formal writing was foreign to me and I had to wait until the nicest social worker was alone in the room & ask her how to phrase something. Then, all of a sudden I could do it! I’m sure we’ll be the same in a few weeks time and we’ll forget what the problem was!! I know you’ll get there.
Learning a new writing style is so difficult!! Currently having given up social work to write articles I have to drop the formal, legal style of child protection for the light, chatty magazine style I need now, and its hard. But I remember when the language, rythmn and style of formal writing was foreign to me and I had to wait until the nicest social worker was alone in the room & ask her how to phrase something. Then, all of a sudden I could do it! I’m sure we’ll be the same in a few weeks time and we’ll forget what the problem was!! I know you’ll get there.
Alana, thank you for the helpful hint on how not to mix up practice/practise. I think I will remember now (ice a solid noun! 🙂
Please know that these notes continue to be so helpful. Thank you for your ideas on how to proceed creatively and kindly and gently with this project. I will be back to reread these ideas, and Mom will be sharing her favorite over our next telephone call.
Alana, thank you for the helpful hint on how not to mix up practice/practise. I think I will remember now (ice a solid noun! 🙂
Please know that these notes continue to be so helpful. Thank you for your ideas on how to proceed creatively and kindly and gently with this project. I will be back to reread these ideas, and Mom will be sharing her favorite over our next telephone call.
Kristin: as a physician I make my living communicating with people, often times when they are at their worst…you write from the heart with clarity and this is powerful and a blessing. Based on all the foregoing blog comments from your fan club, do you see the influence you yield? Well done cherie!/ Wells
Kristin: as a physician I make my living communicating with people, often times when they are at their worst…you write from the heart with clarity and this is powerful and a blessing. Based on all the foregoing blog comments from your fan club, do you see the influence you yield? Well done cherie!/ Wells
Writing is work …. until it is play …. and very serious …. until we surrender and give the muse control …. As always, Krisin, I wish you the muse. 🙂
Writing is work …. until it is play …. and very serious …. until we surrender and give the muse control …. As always, Krisin, I wish you the muse. 🙂
Hi Kristin,
For those minutes of anxiety about punctuation or grammar niceties, have you tried Grammar Girl. She runs a great, spunky, no nonsense, q. and a. website:
grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/. You can check the rules quickly and easily, and she explains the rules as well as offers alternatives when practical. It’s almost fun.
Hi Kristin,
For those minutes of anxiety about punctuation or grammar niceties, have you tried Grammar Girl. She runs a great, spunky, no nonsense, q. and a. website:
grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/. You can check the rules quickly and easily, and she explains the rules as well as offers alternatives when practical. It’s almost fun.
I can be easily overwhelmed by big projects–so much so that sometimes it’s even a bit paralyzing. Where to start? But i love saying ‘eat the elephant one bite at a time.’
I expect you will find a special rhythm and method for the memoir process. just like each child has it’s own personality and way of moving in the world, so, i think, do projects like this. you’ll circle around each other a bit and sniff each other a bit until you become familiar with each other and you will find the right way to coexist. yup. (oh–and follow each bit of the elephant with a bit of chocolate:))
I can be easily overwhelmed by big projects–so much so that sometimes it’s even a bit paralyzing. Where to start? But i love saying ‘eat the elephant one bite at a time.’
I expect you will find a special rhythm and method for the memoir process. just like each child has it’s own personality and way of moving in the world, so, i think, do projects like this. you’ll circle around each other a bit and sniff each other a bit until you become familiar with each other and you will find the right way to coexist. yup. (oh–and follow each bit of the elephant with a bit of chocolate:))
Dear Kristi: I’m grateful to a woman named Linda who asked me if I could do or be with something for an eyelash worth of time. 22 years later and I still ask myself that.
I see your memoir being completed and published. All those little eyelashes of time add up. Something obviously wants to express through you and you’re honoring it.
And you have many great copyeditors in your readership. or is it in your readers? We can all use good copyediting!
Dear Kristi: I’m grateful to a woman named Linda who asked me if I could do or be with something for an eyelash worth of time. 22 years later and I still ask myself that.
I see your memoir being completed and published. All those little eyelashes of time add up. Something obviously wants to express through you and you’re honoring it.
And you have many great copyeditors in your readership. or is it in your readers? We can all use good copyediting!
For me, I try to do a 10-minute drawing a day even if I can’t do anything else in a busy life. You already do so much, and I know you can do this memoir too. Give yourself time and a hug every once in a while.
For me, I try to do a 10-minute drawing a day even if I can’t do anything else in a busy life. You already do so much, and I know you can do this memoir too. Give yourself time and a hug every once in a while.
Believe your sponsor! You can do it – no one knows your story better than you -take your time and tell it as you want and you can change your mind about what you write and how you write it. Maybe you will invent a better way for you to write. Now, if only I could take my own advice with regards to my painting. Know that we all support you and send you encouragement.
Believe your sponsor! You can do it – no one knows your story better than you -take your time and tell it as you want and you can change your mind about what you write and how you write it. Maybe you will invent a better way for you to write. Now, if only I could take my own advice with regards to my painting. Know that we all support you and send you encouragement.
PS Thank you for showing me how broccoli flowers.
PS Thank you for showing me how broccoli flowers.
I’m not sure what to say to you; Except why are you putting yourself through such Pain!! You have a wonderful life, family and creative writing yet somehow you are in turmoil, I love your creative writing, sharing your life with the wines etc, but somehow I am not getting it!!
I’m not sure what to say to you; Except why are you putting yourself through such Pain!! You have a wonderful life, family and creative writing yet somehow you are in turmoil, I love your creative writing, sharing your life with the wines etc, but somehow I am not getting it!!
Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
Carl Jung (1875–1961), Swiss psychiatrist.
Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
Carl Jung (1875–1961), Swiss psychiatrist.
Our dear Kristi,
Another wonderful post (and pictures!)–as always! Once again you have given us inspiration for (as the saying goes),’when the going gets tough, the tough get going’.
I so admire you for your ability to sit down and write the daily post, and then send it!! NO EASY TASK!! There is NO doubt in my mind that when you relax, and let your mind wander, words will flow from there to your fingers and onto the (many!) pages.
We are so privileged to share in your life!
THANK YOU!!
Love, Natalia XO
Our dear Kristi,
Another wonderful post (and pictures!)–as always! Once again you have given us inspiration for (as the saying goes),’when the going gets tough, the tough get going’.
I so admire you for your ability to sit down and write the daily post, and then send it!! NO EASY TASK!! There is NO doubt in my mind that when you relax, and let your mind wander, words will flow from there to your fingers and onto the (many!) pages.
We are so privileged to share in your life!
THANK YOU!!
Love, Natalia XO
What if you continued to use us as a deadline without actually showing us your words – that is, set public goals on your blog and report to us whether you reached those goals? That way, we can still motivate you even though your writings are private.
What if you continued to use us as a deadline without actually showing us your words – that is, set public goals on your blog and report to us whether you reached those goals? That way, we can still motivate you even though your writings are private.