Photo of the vineyard where we spent 5 lively years! Thanks to your helpful notes, I will be writing the first draft of the memoir in private. Read on…
le piège (pee-ezh)
: trap, snare, pitfall, booby-trap
Audio: Listen to the following words & example sentence: DownloadMP3 or Wav
How to properly pronounce French words? Read this inexpensive book!
piéger (verb) = to trap
piégé = booby-trapped
une voiture piégée = a car bomb
un colis or une lettre piégé(e) = a parcel or letter bomb
le piège à souris = mousetrap
la question piège = loaded or trick question
le piège à touriste = tourist trap
tomber dans le piège = to fall into a trap
Un piège, ou trappe, est un dispositif destiné à capturer un être vivant. –Wikipedia
A snare or trap is a device for capturing a live being.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
I am trying to remember whether the French have an expression for "wow", because a teary wow! is just one of the reactions I am having to your ongoing messages of support, following the announcement that I am writing my memoir.
But isn't a memoir something someone writes at the end of one's life? some people wrote in, a little surprised by my decision.
There are many kinds of memoirs. In book publishing, memoirs are also a way to recount a specific period in one's life. A good book title narrows the scope of the subject; here are a few made-up ones to illustrate this point:
- Grappling: My 5 Years at a Wine Farm & How I Stayed Sober
- Its What It's: How My Blog Readers Taught Me Grammar and Punctuation
(Come to think of it, that second "memoir" might be a lot of fun to write! It is true: I have and continue to learn punctuation thanks to the notes and explanations you send in. )
Though I will not know the title of my book until I have discovered its overriding theme, I like to think it is "A Love Story"–no matter how overused that title is. On the other hand, a How-To title could hint at a good portion of the book's content:
- How To Become An Author, Editor, and Publisher When You Failed Language Class.
Sometimes book titles are borrowed from one of the chapters inside the memoir (think Me Talk Pretty One Day).
In my book, a particularly chilling chapter recounts a drastic measure taken towards a flawless life. That chapter is called:
- Waking Up at The Wrong Time : Becoming Conscious on the Operating Table
Indeed, the book itself could be titled after that very chapter. Waking Up at the Wrong Time… such a title would so meaningfully evoke one woman's premature arrival at consciousness.
I realize that statement sounds absurd. How can one become conscious before becoming conscious?
Only eternity knows the answer. And Love is eternal…
***
Once again, please accept my deepest thanks for taking the time to write in, following the previous three posts. The process of deciding to write a memoir–then typing the first three chapters online–feels just like going through the towel dryer–one of those old-fashioned French dryers where a flimsy rag passes between two rolling steel bolts. On the other end, out comes the towel, crisp at a piece of paper. It will take 280 to 330 sheets of this kind of paper to tell my story.
To comment on this post, or to read what others are saying about this topic, please click here.
Another snippet from the book follows, just below my picture near the end of this post.
"Airing one's laundry in public?" A few people wrote in, concerned about a tell-all memoir. Please trust me to know what to share – and what not to! My Mom has dug out her big red protective marker and my daughter will be reading the rough-draft!
Jean-Marc will kick off his USA Wine Tour this spring. Check out his itinerary and see if he will be in your area. Click here.
One thing I learned from readers' reaction to my post about the risks of writing: depending on your perspective, or life experience, a scene will evoke darkness of light – or both. I am always having to remind myself to adjust my perspective.
That's me, serving dessert. At the vineyard where we lived, we had many, many guests. Rarely did I meet a fellow teetotaler. In the meantime, there was lots and lots of wine to bring out. When Jean-Marc reached past me to pour the wine for a tablemate, I casually moved my plate out of the way, afraid a drop of alcohol would fall into my pasta–what if I ate the tainted food? Could I still believe I was abstinent? Would I be able to claim my end of another year chip?
When emptying the bottles for the recycle bin, I would carefully rinse my hands, what if the alcohol seeped through my skin?!
I have relaxed a lot in the recent years. But I don't ever want to get to cozy around wine. The risk to relapse is ever present.
I had not meant to write any more of my story online, having made the decision to write the chapters in private… and then, these thoughts rushed out. If you know anyone who might benefit from this story, click on the Prologue, or introductory chapter, where you will find a "share link" at the end of the post. From there your friend or family member can read through the first three chapters of my recovery story.
"Love locks in Paris." Happy Valentines Day to you! Click here for your Valentine… a list of endearing terms and several heart photos I've taken just for you!
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
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Perhaps writing this memoir, Kristin, is an important part of your ongoing recovery. That might be enough for you in and of itself. It need not be shared, necessarily. I would suggest not publishing it for a while after it is complete. After some time has passed, look at it periodically, and be sure it is what you want to share. Faith in God, I hope, will be an integral part of your life as time goes on. This core belief will hold you on the right path and direct your days.
Perhaps writing this memoir, Kristin, is an important part of your ongoing recovery. That might be enough for you in and of itself. It need not be shared, necessarily. I would suggest not publishing it for a while after it is complete. After some time has passed, look at it periodically, and be sure it is what you want to share. Faith in God, I hope, will be an integral part of your life as time goes on. This core belief will hold you on the right path and direct your days.
Kristin–I’ve been reading and enjoying your blog for three years now, I haven’t commented because I keep telling myself that you have so many readers, what would one more comment mean? But I realize that it’s always scary to write about ourselves, and the more risks we take, the more positive feedback we need.
Writing memoir makes us vulnerable–and it becomes even scarier when we expose our humanity in ways that have a potential to bring on criticism. I applaud your courage, your dignity, your self-respect. Most of all, I applaud the compassion that compels you to share your story for the encouragement of others. Of course there will be criticism because people who do the right thing, tend to bring out the worst in mean-spirited and jealous people. But, more importantly, people who do the right thing (by living with joy, love, honesty & compassion), bring out the best in the millions of people who are looking for the strength to also do right. I love your blog! Keep on!
Kristin–I’ve been reading and enjoying your blog for three years now, I haven’t commented because I keep telling myself that you have so many readers, what would one more comment mean? But I realize that it’s always scary to write about ourselves, and the more risks we take, the more positive feedback we need.
Writing memoir makes us vulnerable–and it becomes even scarier when we expose our humanity in ways that have a potential to bring on criticism. I applaud your courage, your dignity, your self-respect. Most of all, I applaud the compassion that compels you to share your story for the encouragement of others. Of course there will be criticism because people who do the right thing, tend to bring out the worst in mean-spirited and jealous people. But, more importantly, people who do the right thing (by living with joy, love, honesty & compassion), bring out the best in the millions of people who are looking for the strength to also do right. I love your blog! Keep on!
Kristen, your readers have given you some thoughtful advice. Now I’ll pass on some from Emily Dickinson. She was referring to poetry, but her words can apply to memoirs as well:
Tell all th truth but tell it slant–
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightning to the chidren eased
With Explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind
Kristen, your readers have given you some thoughtful advice. Now I’ll pass on some from Emily Dickinson. She was referring to poetry, but her words can apply to memoirs as well:
Tell all th truth but tell it slant–
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth’s superb surprise
As Lightning to the chidren eased
With Explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind
Your Amazing Journey .. what is very clear is that you are beautiful, brave and very much loved by your husband and family. Your husband is also amazing .. your relationship (and all of our relationships) is a work in progress but it is clear that there is a common denominator of love and trust. You and Jean-Marc have many friends who want only the best for the two of you. Keep it up. You are an inspiration.
Patty
Your Amazing Journey .. what is very clear is that you are beautiful, brave and very much loved by your husband and family. Your husband is also amazing .. your relationship (and all of our relationships) is a work in progress but it is clear that there is a common denominator of love and trust. You and Jean-Marc have many friends who want only the best for the two of you. Keep it up. You are an inspiration.
Patty
Kristi, I LOVE the title “Waking up at the Wrong Time…” Brilliant! Sounds like a possible metaphor for your whole story. Waking up during surgery would be terrifying, just like the sudden realization of any terrible situation that you have gotten yourself into. But just like the end result of surgery is (hopefully) healing or lifesaving, realizing your situation in time leads to self-healing.
I’m glad you have decided to write your memoir in private, good decision. And hopefully continuing with your more lighthearted blog posts which will serve as a balance.
Kristi, I LOVE the title “Waking up at the Wrong Time…” Brilliant! Sounds like a possible metaphor for your whole story. Waking up during surgery would be terrifying, just like the sudden realization of any terrible situation that you have gotten yourself into. But just like the end result of surgery is (hopefully) healing or lifesaving, realizing your situation in time leads to self-healing.
I’m glad you have decided to write your memoir in private, good decision. And hopefully continuing with your more lighthearted blog posts which will serve as a balance.
bonjour kristin….think it is remarkable experience to share and after all will probably make you an even stronger person….congratz!!merci, merci for your writing…
bonjour kristin….think it is remarkable experience to share and after all will probably make you an even stronger person….congratz!!merci, merci for your writing…
Salut Kristin,
Bonne chance avec votre livre nouveau! It will be a challenge.
A few years ago I started what I call my “Document of Life” (DOL). The early years were easy to do chronologically. Then my interests went into many parallel branches and I had to do them one at a time. I haven’t worked on mine for a while; guess I better get back at that again.
I used a small hand held voice recorder rather than write or type. You might find the voice recorder a hand tool to store thoughts before they escape your memory.
À plus tard
Salut Kristin,
Bonne chance avec votre livre nouveau! It will be a challenge.
A few years ago I started what I call my “Document of Life” (DOL). The early years were easy to do chronologically. Then my interests went into many parallel branches and I had to do them one at a time. I haven’t worked on mine for a while; guess I better get back at that again.
I used a small hand held voice recorder rather than write or type. You might find the voice recorder a hand tool to store thoughts before they escape your memory.
À plus tard
Kristin, I’m so glad you are writing the book privately. that feels so right. his feels like something you are doing for YOU–yes, it has already helped and impacted people, and that’s a gift and a miracle when people find things like this at the right time. but i think a memoir is most successfull when it’s an examination and process of discovery for the subject. that’s the lens that makes it work. if one writes something like this always thinking of the reader, that skews things a bit, i think. and this process gives you all the freedom in the world. you can respond to the process–and your can switch any method, any voice, any style–at any time. it will write you.
I was struck at how (again) perfect today’s photo is. you are going into foggy, hazy, unrecognizable terrain. and you will follow the vivid moments one after another to get to the other side.
(what about simply ‘Waking Up’?)
Much affection and warm thoughts to you and yours as you do this together.
and thank you for the Valentines! much appreciated today! 🙂
Kristin, I’m so glad you are writing the book privately. that feels so right. his feels like something you are doing for YOU–yes, it has already helped and impacted people, and that’s a gift and a miracle when people find things like this at the right time. but i think a memoir is most successfull when it’s an examination and process of discovery for the subject. that’s the lens that makes it work. if one writes something like this always thinking of the reader, that skews things a bit, i think. and this process gives you all the freedom in the world. you can respond to the process–and your can switch any method, any voice, any style–at any time. it will write you.
I was struck at how (again) perfect today’s photo is. you are going into foggy, hazy, unrecognizable terrain. and you will follow the vivid moments one after another to get to the other side.
(what about simply ‘Waking Up’?)
Much affection and warm thoughts to you and yours as you do this together.
and thank you for the Valentines! much appreciated today! 🙂
Sorry to answer these thoughtful, helpful, lovely comments out of order. Pointing any one of them out does not take away from the value all the others bring–thank you all!
Gwyn, I find your writing tips so helpful (especially your words: but i think a memoir is most successfull when its an examination and process of discovery for the subject. thats the lens that makes it work. if one writes something like this always thinking of the reader, that skews things a bit, i think. and this process gives you all the freedom in the world. you can respond to the process–and your can switch any method, any voice, any style–at any time. it will write you….)
Sorry to answer these thoughtful, helpful, lovely comments out of order. Pointing any one of them out does not take away from the value all the others bring–thank you all!
Gwyn, I find your writing tips so helpful (especially your words: but i think a memoir is most successfull when its an examination and process of discovery for the subject. thats the lens that makes it work. if one writes something like this always thinking of the reader, that skews things a bit, i think. and this process gives you all the freedom in the world. you can respond to the process–and your can switch any method, any voice, any style–at any time. it will write you….)
Learning to love ourselves and believe that we are worthy in the face of our real or imagined flaws is, for many of us, one of life’s greatest challenges. I believe this book will indeed be a love story on many levels as you go within and revisit the varied aspects of your journey. Once again I have to say how much I admire your courage and your heart. Can’t wait to read this when you are ready. Bon courage.
Learning to love ourselves and believe that we are worthy in the face of our real or imagined flaws is, for many of us, one of life’s greatest challenges. I believe this book will indeed be a love story on many levels as you go within and revisit the varied aspects of your journey. Once again I have to say how much I admire your courage and your heart. Can’t wait to read this when you are ready. Bon courage.
I am glad you decided to write your memoir in private. This way, you can edit your manuscript with the help of your mom and Jackie, and maybe Jean Marc. There is something to be said for delicatesse.
I am glad you decided to write your memoir in private. This way, you can edit your manuscript with the help of your mom and Jackie, and maybe Jean Marc. There is something to be said for delicatesse.
This past week, I had felt like Miss Clavel in the Madeline stories, waking up and saying, “Something, something is not right!” There was this tempest in your comments section. Now the storm has passed.
Congratulations on your decision.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you all, and to all your readers!
This past week, I had felt like Miss Clavel in the Madeline stories, waking up and saying, “Something, something is not right!” There was this tempest in your comments section. Now the storm has passed.
Congratulations on your decision.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you all, and to all your readers!
Kristin, I had just finished writing my comment on Monday when my computer had a gliltch and I couldn’t post it, but I agreed with Wylie, Pat and others that your memoir should remain a private endeavor. Your family can enjoy and critique it at the same time. Someday you might want to publish it; whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, Cynthia
P.S. Some time ago, Jean-Marc wrote to Jules who had been in an accident: “Mom, I will take care of you. I want you to come to France”. That is a “beau-fils” writing to his “belle-mère”. They are both beautiful outwardly and inwardly!
Kristin, I had just finished writing my comment on Monday when my computer had a gliltch and I couldn’t post it, but I agreed with Wylie, Pat and others that your memoir should remain a private endeavor. Your family can enjoy and critique it at the same time. Someday you might want to publish it; whatever you decide, I wish you the very best, Cynthia
P.S. Some time ago, Jean-Marc wrote to Jules who had been in an accident: “Mom, I will take care of you. I want you to come to France”. That is a “beau-fils” writing to his “belle-mère”. They are both beautiful outwardly and inwardly!
Our dear Kristi,
Another wonderful post (and pictures!) this morning.
We so admire and respect you; both for your talent as a writer, and ,most of all, for the caring,gracious and loving woman (friend!) that you are.
We look forward to anything–and everything!–that you write,whenever you share it with us.
THANK YOU!!
Love, Natalia XO
Our dear Kristi,
Another wonderful post (and pictures!) this morning.
We so admire and respect you; both for your talent as a writer, and ,most of all, for the caring,gracious and loving woman (friend!) that you are.
We look forward to anything–and everything!–that you write,whenever you share it with us.
THANK YOU!!
Love, Natalia XO
Chère Kristin,
Thank you so much for being so open and honest about your life. You are a beautiful and brave soul. I am really looking forward to reading your memoir when it comes out! You are a huge inspiration to me.
Much love,
~ Dana
Chère Kristin,
Thank you so much for being so open and honest about your life. You are a beautiful and brave soul. I am really looking forward to reading your memoir when it comes out! You are a huge inspiration to me.
Much love,
~ Dana
Excellent idea to write your memoir in private! It’s your story and you should not have a bunch of people meddling around in it. Although I’m not sure you will be able to stick to your convictions since I feel you are someone who loves to share and seek approval. Both very good feminine traits. Stay sober and healthy. As always I look forward to your future blogs. They help me to stay in touch with my second love, France! Sophie
Excellent idea to write your memoir in private! It’s your story and you should not have a bunch of people meddling around in it. Although I’m not sure you will be able to stick to your convictions since I feel you are someone who loves to share and seek approval. Both very good feminine traits. Stay sober and healthy. As always I look forward to your future blogs. They help me to stay in touch with my second love, France! Sophie
They came from every corner of the earth, bearing good will, well intentioned advice, and admiration for that one who is the catalyst and cement for this gathering of higher thinking. They are “Kristin’s Krusaders” an intellectual and spiritual force, borne from one womans Patience, Persistence, Discipline, and Talent. This alone is a phenomenal accomplishment, Kristin. Simply continue going inside and trusting what’s there. You will tell You how to proceed and it will be perfect. Continue trusting Kristin Espinasse…she hasn’t failed you yet. Aloha, Bill
They came from every corner of the earth, bearing good will, well intentioned advice, and admiration for that one who is the catalyst and cement for this gathering of higher thinking. They are “Kristin’s Krusaders” an intellectual and spiritual force, borne from one womans Patience, Persistence, Discipline, and Talent. This alone is a phenomenal accomplishment, Kristin. Simply continue going inside and trusting what’s there. You will tell You how to proceed and it will be perfect. Continue trusting Kristin Espinasse…she hasn’t failed you yet. Aloha, Bill
The Swedes say, “Everybody has a demon, and some people two.” But to encourage you, I will say I once owned a dress boutique, and afterwards hated clothes shopping for myself for years! I am a type 1 diabetic, worked in a British tearoom,passed thru the kitchen each day and never snacked on the goodies! Things like what you are going thru can be done, especially if you think of the wine as “a job”.Blessings, Susie Q. Finley
The Swedes say, “Everybody has a demon, and some people two.” But to encourage you, I will say I once owned a dress boutique, and afterwards hated clothes shopping for myself for years! I am a type 1 diabetic, worked in a British tearoom,passed thru the kitchen each day and never snacked on the goodies! Things like what you are going thru can be done, especially if you think of the wine as “a job”.Blessings, Susie Q. Finley
Dear Kristin,
I am SO happy and relieved that you have decided to write your memoir in private and will decide later what to do with it. I wanted to say that to you after just reading your prologue, which was so beautiful and poignant. That was all you needed to tell us – and, of course, we all applaud your achievement. The detailing of the story , I am sure, will be immensely important for you but nothing is to be gained by sharing it right away. I am a member of a memoir writing group and there is one member, who writes exquisitely, who is writing about her sister’s death. She has let 18 months elapse and distilled in her mind what she wants to say and how. I think that space to ponder what and how to write is so useful. Whatever you write it will involve your family and it seems kindly to ask their permission to share publicly . Good luck in your ongoing journey. You are a courageous and creative soul!
Dear Kristin,
I am SO happy and relieved that you have decided to write your memoir in private and will decide later what to do with it. I wanted to say that to you after just reading your prologue, which was so beautiful and poignant. That was all you needed to tell us – and, of course, we all applaud your achievement. The detailing of the story , I am sure, will be immensely important for you but nothing is to be gained by sharing it right away. I am a member of a memoir writing group and there is one member, who writes exquisitely, who is writing about her sister’s death. She has let 18 months elapse and distilled in her mind what she wants to say and how. I think that space to ponder what and how to write is so useful. Whatever you write it will involve your family and it seems kindly to ask their permission to share publicly . Good luck in your ongoing journey. You are a courageous and creative soul!
Dear Kristi,
I was going to write you today and say that it is not the subject matter that should be kept private; rather, any first draft should be kept under wraps until rewrites, editing is complete and then…Voila! But you figured that out on your own. The picture of you with wine bottles and lovely desserts would be wonderful to include…perhaps a memoir entitled: Sober in the Vineyard!
Bon Chance!
Anny
Dear Kristi,
I was going to write you today and say that it is not the subject matter that should be kept private; rather, any first draft should be kept under wraps until rewrites, editing is complete and then…Voila! But you figured that out on your own. The picture of you with wine bottles and lovely desserts would be wonderful to include…perhaps a memoir entitled: Sober in the Vineyard!
Bon Chance!
Anny
Living in the heart of a Wine area; Sonoma,Ca.; we have many peopel who work in the industry, but, keep their sobriety. Thank you for your article on Anonomity. I have passed on your story to my friends here. Your words will help many who are still struggling to get a grip on their alcoholic usage. For me abstinence was the only key to it all, then came rebuliding of my concept of the world emotionally and spiritually. Your words carry that through to me. Keep them coming. I am looking forward to your memoirs.
Living in the heart of a Wine area; Sonoma,Ca.; we have many peopel who work in the industry, but, keep their sobriety. Thank you for your article on Anonomity. I have passed on your story to my friends here. Your words will help many who are still struggling to get a grip on their alcoholic usage. For me abstinence was the only key to it all, then came rebuliding of my concept of the world emotionally and spiritually. Your words carry that through to me. Keep them coming. I am looking forward to your memoirs.
Kristi, You are so blessed to have your mom cheering you on. My mom is in heaven now, so I really enjoy you mom’s loving notes to you. Merci to you all for opening your hearts to all of us like you do. Your decision to write your next book privately feels right. As for who you are writing for, you are you, and there is only one you, and that is the you your readers love. I had a tearoom for a number of years before I retired, and I stressed in the beginning, wondering if people would come, if they would like what I offered. Yes, and yes, and when I sold it, the new owner carried on the vision with her own touch. We all have something to offer if we are genuine, and you are!!
Kristi, You are so blessed to have your mom cheering you on. My mom is in heaven now, so I really enjoy you mom’s loving notes to you. Merci to you all for opening your hearts to all of us like you do. Your decision to write your next book privately feels right. As for who you are writing for, you are you, and there is only one you, and that is the you your readers love. I had a tearoom for a number of years before I retired, and I stressed in the beginning, wondering if people would come, if they would like what I offered. Yes, and yes, and when I sold it, the new owner carried on the vision with her own touch. We all have something to offer if we are genuine, and you are!!
My view is that you made the exact right decision about this memoir.
Well, two decisions: one, to write it; two, to write it away from the blog.
The parts you have shared are intriguing, well done, showing this is integrated into the whole of you.
I could not post a comment earlier for the deep roots this issue (of drinking or not drinking alcohol) has in me, and my extended family. It had to be your decision, and now that you have made it, I applaud you for the best choice.
My view is that you made the exact right decision about this memoir.
Well, two decisions: one, to write it; two, to write it away from the blog.
The parts you have shared are intriguing, well done, showing this is integrated into the whole of you.
I could not post a comment earlier for the deep roots this issue (of drinking or not drinking alcohol) has in me, and my extended family. It had to be your decision, and now that you have made it, I applaud you for the best choice.
Dear Kristin,
My partner went cold turkey in 2000 after more than two decades years of drinking. As he says, no one enjoyed drinking as much as he did. It takes an incredible amount of courage and determination to fight that demon. I congratulate you on that ever going battle and wish you continued success. I thank you for your honesty and your heart warming blog. I enjoy it immensely. Let your words be your sword and your heart be filled with gratitude and a creative fire.
Cheers,
Michele
Dear Kristin,
My partner went cold turkey in 2000 after more than two decades years of drinking. As he says, no one enjoyed drinking as much as he did. It takes an incredible amount of courage and determination to fight that demon. I congratulate you on that ever going battle and wish you continued success. I thank you for your honesty and your heart warming blog. I enjoy it immensely. Let your words be your sword and your heart be filled with gratitude and a creative fire.
Cheers,
Michele
Hello Kristin,
There is much to be admired about you. I so enjoy reading your blog and dreaming of a life in France. In fact, I will be in Paris with my dearest friend, to celebrate my 60th!!!How did that happen??? Your honesty is one of the many things that make you special. So few people are willing to open up their heart and souls, even to themselves. You have triumphed over adversity and you are stronger for it. Goddess speed to you and I look forward to reading your memoirs. Cheri
Hello Kristin,
There is much to be admired about you. I so enjoy reading your blog and dreaming of a life in France. In fact, I will be in Paris with my dearest friend, to celebrate my 60th!!!How did that happen??? Your honesty is one of the many things that make you special. So few people are willing to open up their heart and souls, even to themselves. You have triumphed over adversity and you are stronger for it. Goddess speed to you and I look forward to reading your memoirs. Cheri