"This one's for you!" (pictured: that's me with the cake, my husband, right, gets all the wine around here–even when we lived on a vineyard, where wine all but flowed from the garden hose.)
A (Very Special) DAY IN A FRENCH …by Kristi Espinasse
Yesterday a delicate and meaningful milestone quietly passed. Waking up, I searched for a way to respectfully acknowledge the date, lest it pass as another ordinary day. Quietly walking out to the bedroom terrace, I looked around at the countryside. As far as the eye could see, there was greenery: olive and almond trees, the forest, and the sea.
It was a relief to wake with a clear head and no regrets. Breathing in the morning scent, I closed my eyes. Now was the time. I offered up the simple acknowledgment, and thanks. There was a moment of complete and utter silence, and then seagulls cried in the distance. A train passed, blowing its horn. The neighbor's dogs barked. My robe sagged, and I reached down to tighten the belt. It was both an ordinary and an extraordinary day.
"You can take me to lunch," I hinted to Jean-Marc, both reminding him of the important date—and suggesting how he might help me to mark the occasion.
"How about with a big glass of cognac?" he chuckled.
"That is NOT funny!" No matter how many times I tell him that such jokes, given the circumstance, are in bad taste, he cannot help himself.
"OK, then how about a six-pack?" my husband continued.
"T'es terrible!"
"I'm very proud of you," Jean-Marc assured me, planting a kiss on my lips. His tenderness provoked flashbacks of years ago, when I would discover little notes stuck in a book I was reading or in the pocket of my robe.
"Çela fait dix jours. Continue, Mon Amour… That makes ten days. Keep it up, My Love," the encouragements read, and "Trois semaines! Fier de toi, Ma Chérie! Three weeks now! So proud of you, My Dear!"
The scribbled notes were encouraging but had I foreseen the future, I might not have had the guts to continue on the new path, not knowing that some of the rockiest parts were just around the corner. The hand-written notes would stop. The sores would begin to open.
A decade has passed and I am still on that fragile path; despite all the setbacks, I have never once veered off track. And even if I wouldn't be celebrating the 10-year mark with a glass of champagne, I was looking forward to eating out with my husband.
Only, when my daughter ran up, asking to bring a friend home for lunch, plans changed. Five months at the new school, and she, too, had passed a delicate milestone: the courage to invite a new friend home!
Well, at least I no longer have to fret about what to wear to the restaurant! The positive thoughts continued as I set about tidying the house, and preparing for my daughter's special lunch.
But as I hurried to fix up the house for our important guest, I felt a familiar rush of panic. There won't be time to finish the cleaning AND to get the meal started. Recognizing the anxiety—that old foe that I could not cope with ten years ago—I was able to put a stop to it. No, there wouldn't be time if I insisted on a perfect outcome. But there was plenty of time otherwise!
What was important, after all, wasn't how the house looked or what we ate, it was how our guest would feel. I wanted Jackie's friend to experience that good and cozy and welcoming feeling and to leave with a desire to return!
"Promise to come back and see us?" I said, kissing my daughter's friend goodbye after lunch.
"Oui!" came the shy response.
Noticing the look in the young lady's eyes it seemed a guardian angel was smiling back at me. If I had gone to the restaurant to celebrate and be pampered, I would have missed this heavenly encounter.
At the end of the day Jean Marc presented me with a gift. Gently tapping on the door to the bedroom, where I had been putting away a stack of freshly folded clothes, he curled his finger several times, signaling to me to follow him.
I was a little leery of whatever he was dragging me out to see. After polyester pajamas, discount branch shredders, and T-shirts I could never wear in public, I never knew what kind of gift was up his sleeves.
"Will I like it?" I asked, nervously, letting my husband lead me by the sleeve.
Opening the front door, I saw the little cherry tree posed just beyond the welcome mat, like a gushing guest. I looked closely at the delicate, leafless branches. The tiny buds were burgeoning.
"Congratulations!" Jean-Marc said. "I'm so proud of you!"
The burgeoning continued, inside of me, as teardrops surfaced like the little buds of the cherry tree. Fragile as its branches, my sobriety continues.
Update: February 3rd, 2019, I celebrated 16 years of sobriety.
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Congratulations, Kristin! Wishing you continued success for many more years to come. Thanks also for bringing a bit of France into my life three times a week. Your blog continues to be a bright ray of sunshine on the gloomiest of days.
Best to you always, Marjorie
Congratulations, Kristin! Wishing you continued success for many more years to come. Thanks also for bringing a bit of France into my life three times a week. Your blog continues to be a bright ray of sunshine on the gloomiest of days.
Best to you always, Marjorie
I teared up when I read your story today. A very big 10th Happy Birthday to you. Thank you for being so candid and sharing parts of your life with all of us. I love taking in your descriptions of your new house and your stories of your life. Because of how you write, which is really, really good, I feel as though I know you and your family. Keep it up.
I teared up when I read your story today. A very big 10th Happy Birthday to you. Thank you for being so candid and sharing parts of your life with all of us. I love taking in your descriptions of your new house and your stories of your life. Because of how you write, which is really, really good, I feel as though I know you and your family. Keep it up.
Felicitations!
Bon courage as you continue along your path w/ your beautiful family by your side.
Every time I see a cherry tree I will think of you & Jean Marc…..
Beautiful post…………
Kay
Felicitations!
Bon courage as you continue along your path w/ your beautiful family by your side.
Every time I see a cherry tree I will think of you & Jean Marc…..
Beautiful post…………
Kay
Your husband is a lucky guy to have such a beautiful, sincere and interesting wife! Thanks for the fascinating writings, again and again. Congratulations!
Your husband is a lucky guy to have such a beautiful, sincere and interesting wife! Thanks for the fascinating writings, again and again. Congratulations!
Kristin, I have enjoyed your books and your sharing your life so much over the years. Once or twice I have cancelled my subscription and then realized how much I missed it and have restarted.
God has richly blessed you and thru you He has blessed the rest of us. I look forward to the rest of you memoirs. Very Happy 10-Years Day.
Kristin, I have enjoyed your books and your sharing your life so much over the years. Once or twice I have cancelled my subscription and then realized how much I missed it and have restarted.
God has richly blessed you and thru you He has blessed the rest of us. I look forward to the rest of you memoirs. Very Happy 10-Years Day.
Cher Kristin, the only thing more beautiful than your words is your spirt!! We are happy for all the positive changes in your lives as a result of your relocation. However, we miss your smiling face and sharing good times (and JM’s wine) together during our visits to Provence. Much love, many XOXO’s,
Maureen & Lee
Cher Kristin, the only thing more beautiful than your words is your spirt!! We are happy for all the positive changes in your lives as a result of your relocation. However, we miss your smiling face and sharing good times (and JM’s wine) together during our visits to Provence. Much love, many XOXO’s,
Maureen & Lee
I so admire your great courage, all the best to you. Beautiful piece today.
Duff
I so admire your great courage, all the best to you. Beautiful piece today.
Duff
Thank you for such a tender story of your strength and now a new tree to share in your growth and blossoming gifts of expression.
Thank you for such a tender story of your strength and now a new tree to share in your growth and blossoming gifts of expression.
Fantastic milestone. Thank you for your courage in sharing this piece of your story with us. This is what a new freedom and a new happiness feels like!
Fantastic milestone. Thank you for your courage in sharing this piece of your story with us. This is what a new freedom and a new happiness feels like!
Good for you! Be open about it because it will help you. Thank you for sharing.
Good for you! Be open about it because it will help you. Thank you for sharing.
Kristin,
I hope it’s not too painful for you to share your struggles with your readers. I hope you know how much it helps us. Your wonderful ability to put your feelings into words encourages us to put our own problems into concrete terms, so that we can deal with them too. When you started your journey as a storyteller, did you know you would also be an inspiration and a friend to so many? The true, honest memoirs of ones fighting this battle have been a great help to me and I look forward to reading and recommending yours to my daughter, whom I dearly love and worry for. Thank you.
Kristin,
I hope it’s not too painful for you to share your struggles with your readers. I hope you know how much it helps us. Your wonderful ability to put your feelings into words encourages us to put our own problems into concrete terms, so that we can deal with them too. When you started your journey as a storyteller, did you know you would also be an inspiration and a friend to so many? The true, honest memoirs of ones fighting this battle have been a great help to me and I look forward to reading and recommending yours to my daughter, whom I dearly love and worry for. Thank you.
I celebrate your bravery and your honesty.
I celebrate your bravery and your honesty.
I don’t know you, know you, but I read you and
love your slant on things and feel very proud of you on this anniversary.
I don’t know you, know you, but I read you and
love your slant on things and feel very proud of you on this anniversary.
Happy anniversary, Kristin! Thank you for sharing your life with us. You are truly an inspiration to me and, I’m sure, countless others. Keep on keepin’ on!
Happy anniversary, Kristin! Thank you for sharing your life with us. You are truly an inspiration to me and, I’m sure, countless others. Keep on keepin’ on!
Thank you, Kristin.
Thank you, Kristin.
Congratulations! What a tease you are – I was so enthralled and ready to whip out my credit card to purchase the book. I wish you the best at finishing because I can’t wait to read it.
Congratulations! What a tease you are – I was so enthralled and ready to whip out my credit card to purchase the book. I wish you the best at finishing because I can’t wait to read it.
Wonderful intro! You kept me guessing and wanting for more. It has all already been eloquently said … but congratulations, and thank you for sharing your words and your wisdom.
Wonderful intro! You kept me guessing and wanting for more. It has all already been eloquently said … but congratulations, and thank you for sharing your words and your wisdom.
Congratulations Kristi! Continued success with your decision!
Congratulations Kristi! Continued success with your decision!
Dear Kristin, this is your most powerful blog to date. I have always felt there was a reason that you are so thoughtful and compassionate.
I think the burden of a secret has been lifted. ..and I hope you feel better for it. As you move forward with this new perspective of releasing the secret, it empowers you. Ten years is a remarkable milestone, so congratulations to you.
As with many of the comments above, I have had experience with a parent, a best friend, and others fighting for sobriety. As a child of an alcoholic, who did gain sobriety, that is the best gift you can give your kids.
Realizing that people don’t care about perfection, another healthy behavior. Good on you!
You are amazing; not only a talented writer, great photographer, wife, pet owner, and mom. You are caring, compassionate and funny. You are dear and darling!
Dear Kristin, this is your most powerful blog to date. I have always felt there was a reason that you are so thoughtful and compassionate.
I think the burden of a secret has been lifted. ..and I hope you feel better for it. As you move forward with this new perspective of releasing the secret, it empowers you. Ten years is a remarkable milestone, so congratulations to you.
As with many of the comments above, I have had experience with a parent, a best friend, and others fighting for sobriety. As a child of an alcoholic, who did gain sobriety, that is the best gift you can give your kids.
Realizing that people don’t care about perfection, another healthy behavior. Good on you!
You are amazing; not only a talented writer, great photographer, wife, pet owner, and mom. You are caring, compassionate and funny. You are dear and darling!
Congratulations, Kristi. I have followed your blog for several years now and bought all your books. I think of you as my daughter and am so proud of you. I hope you and Chief Grape host another cruise next year so I can meet you in person. (I have met CG twice when he was in Washington, DC.)
Your devoted fan. Peggy Wright
Congratulations, Kristi. I have followed your blog for several years now and bought all your books. I think of you as my daughter and am so proud of you. I hope you and Chief Grape host another cruise next year so I can meet you in person. (I have met CG twice when he was in Washington, DC.)
Your devoted fan. Peggy Wright
Even though I have been a reader for only two months, I can understand fully why your “anniversary” has elicited such a torrent of affection and emotion. Your simple, unaffected little stories of daily life and the ways in which you open yourself up and share with others have clearly moved many of us. Thank you and keep sharing your life with all of us.
Even though I have been a reader for only two months, I can understand fully why your “anniversary” has elicited such a torrent of affection and emotion. Your simple, unaffected little stories of daily life and the ways in which you open yourself up and share with others have clearly moved many of us. Thank you and keep sharing your life with all of us.
Congratulations! And I can’t wait to read your memoir…
I love reading about your life. I am American and married to a frenchman as well!
Thanks for doing what you do 🙂
Congratulations! And I can’t wait to read your memoir…
I love reading about your life. I am American and married to a frenchman as well!
Thanks for doing what you do 🙂
Bravo!
Bravo!
AHH – KRISTI MY DARLING – I AM SO PROUD OF YOU !!!
Can you imagine how powerful your life will now become with the lifting of this final veil.
As I have always told you – TRANSPARENCY IS FREEDOM
Now your writing is really going to heat up –
You are my Angel and my Star….I love you beyond all words.
XOXO
MOM
AHH – KRISTI MY DARLING – I AM SO PROUD OF YOU !!!
Can you imagine how powerful your life will now become with the lifting of this final veil.
As I have always told you – TRANSPARENCY IS FREEDOM
Now your writing is really going to heat up –
You are my Angel and my Star….I love you beyond all words.
XOXO
MOM
Isn’t life droll….living with a vigneron with a sense of humor…..Here I sit with 6 bottles of 2008 Mistral that I can not share with my husband who has been a tee-totaler for more than 30 years. However, he is my NOSE and a magnificent one at that.
Isn’t life droll….living with a vigneron with a sense of humor…..Here I sit with 6 bottles of 2008 Mistral that I can not share with my husband who has been a tee-totaler for more than 30 years. However, he is my NOSE and a magnificent one at that.