"This one's for you!" (pictured: that's me with the cake, my husband, right, gets all the wine around here–even when we lived on a vineyard, where wine all but flowed from the garden hose.)
A (Very Special) DAY IN A FRENCH …by Kristi Espinasse
Yesterday a delicate and meaningful milestone quietly passed. Waking up, I searched for a way to respectfully acknowledge the date, lest it pass as another ordinary day. Quietly walking out to the bedroom terrace, I looked around at the countryside. As far as the eye could see, there was greenery: olive and almond trees, the forest, and the sea.
It was a relief to wake with a clear head and no regrets. Breathing in the morning scent, I closed my eyes. Now was the time. I offered up the simple acknowledgment, and thanks. There was a moment of complete and utter silence, and then seagulls cried in the distance. A train passed, blowing its horn. The neighbor's dogs barked. My robe sagged, and I reached down to tighten the belt. It was both an ordinary and an extraordinary day.
"You can take me to lunch," I hinted to Jean-Marc, both reminding him of the important date—and suggesting how he might help me to mark the occasion.
"How about with a big glass of cognac?" he chuckled.
"That is NOT funny!" No matter how many times I tell him that such jokes, given the circumstance, are in bad taste, he cannot help himself.
"OK, then how about a six-pack?" my husband continued.
"T'es terrible!"
"I'm very proud of you," Jean-Marc assured me, planting a kiss on my lips. His tenderness provoked flashbacks of years ago, when I would discover little notes stuck in a book I was reading or in the pocket of my robe.
"Çela fait dix jours. Continue, Mon Amour… That makes ten days. Keep it up, My Love," the encouragements read, and "Trois semaines! Fier de toi, Ma Chérie! Three weeks now! So proud of you, My Dear!"
The scribbled notes were encouraging but had I foreseen the future, I might not have had the guts to continue on the new path, not knowing that some of the rockiest parts were just around the corner. The hand-written notes would stop. The sores would begin to open.
A decade has passed and I am still on that fragile path; despite all the setbacks, I have never once veered off track. And even if I wouldn't be celebrating the 10-year mark with a glass of champagne, I was looking forward to eating out with my husband.
Only, when my daughter ran up, asking to bring a friend home for lunch, plans changed. Five months at the new school, and she, too, had passed a delicate milestone: the courage to invite a new friend home!
Well, at least I no longer have to fret about what to wear to the restaurant! The positive thoughts continued as I set about tidying the house, and preparing for my daughter's special lunch.
But as I hurried to fix up the house for our important guest, I felt a familiar rush of panic. There won't be time to finish the cleaning AND to get the meal started. Recognizing the anxiety—that old foe that I could not cope with ten years ago—I was able to put a stop to it. No, there wouldn't be time if I insisted on a perfect outcome. But there was plenty of time otherwise!
What was important, after all, wasn't how the house looked or what we ate, it was how our guest would feel. I wanted Jackie's friend to experience that good and cozy and welcoming feeling and to leave with a desire to return!
"Promise to come back and see us?" I said, kissing my daughter's friend goodbye after lunch.
"Oui!" came the shy response.
Noticing the look in the young lady's eyes it seemed a guardian angel was smiling back at me. If I had gone to the restaurant to celebrate and be pampered, I would have missed this heavenly encounter.
At the end of the day Jean Marc presented me with a gift. Gently tapping on the door to the bedroom, where I had been putting away a stack of freshly folded clothes, he curled his finger several times, signaling to me to follow him.
I was a little leery of whatever he was dragging me out to see. After polyester pajamas, discount branch shredders, and T-shirts I could never wear in public, I never knew what kind of gift was up his sleeves.
"Will I like it?" I asked, nervously, letting my husband lead me by the sleeve.
Opening the front door, I saw the little cherry tree posed just beyond the welcome mat, like a gushing guest. I looked closely at the delicate, leafless branches. The tiny buds were burgeoning.
"Congratulations!" Jean-Marc said. "I'm so proud of you!"
The burgeoning continued, inside of me, as teardrops surfaced like the little buds of the cherry tree. Fragile as its branches, my sobriety continues.
Update: February 3rd, 2019, I celebrated 16 years of sobriety.
Discover more from French Word-A-Day
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Congratulations,
Does it seem but yesterday? And still so many more stories to tell.
Joie
Congratulations,
Does it seem but yesterday? And still so many more stories to tell.
Joie
Your opening is perfect. Sometimes it being anonymous doesn’t allow people to give you the ‘atta boy!’ that you deserve. 10 years-in a winery? You deserve a wedge not just a chip. : )
I was in France this past fall (I’ve only got 4 years) and people gave me that weird look–“You don’t DRINK?” and with the next breath become serious and say something about how they wish they could cut down or know someone who would benefit from it. I would joke about being the designated driver for life-my husband drinks.
Wallow in the joy of having the courage to put aside something in your life that doesn’t work for you.
Big hugs!!!
Your opening is perfect. Sometimes it being anonymous doesn’t allow people to give you the ‘atta boy!’ that you deserve. 10 years-in a winery? You deserve a wedge not just a chip. : )
I was in France this past fall (I’ve only got 4 years) and people gave me that weird look–“You don’t DRINK?” and with the next breath become serious and say something about how they wish they could cut down or know someone who would benefit from it. I would joke about being the designated driver for life-my husband drinks.
Wallow in the joy of having the courage to put aside something in your life that doesn’t work for you.
Big hugs!!!
Congratulations Kristen! I have read your blog for years, but I never knew you were challenged this way! How wonderful for you and your family—JM gave you a gift, but you have given them a bigger gift! As I watch my niece choose alcohol over sobriety time and time again, I am more impressed by your dedication. Even more so surrounded by wine everyday! Bien fait! Felicitations!
Congratulations Kristen! I have read your blog for years, but I never knew you were challenged this way! How wonderful for you and your family—JM gave you a gift, but you have given them a bigger gift! As I watch my niece choose alcohol over sobriety time and time again, I am more impressed by your dedication. Even more so surrounded by wine everyday! Bien fait! Felicitations!
you go girl!! A lundi xoxoxo
you go girl!! A lundi xoxoxo
Congratulations on this milestone, dear Kristin, and on this post so beautiful and brave. It must have taken so much courage to write this, and we, your readers, admire and love you all the more for it. May your tenth year + one day be as sweet as yesterday — we can all only strive to live one day at a time. xoxo
Congratulations on this milestone, dear Kristin, and on this post so beautiful and brave. It must have taken so much courage to write this, and we, your readers, admire and love you all the more for it. May your tenth year + one day be as sweet as yesterday — we can all only strive to live one day at a time. xoxo
Congrats, love and day by day, peace! This is a milestone to celebrate! Thank you for letting us walk with you!
Congrats, love and day by day, peace! This is a milestone to celebrate! Thank you for letting us walk with you!
Congratulations Kristin on reaching this achievement. There’s a saying that goes,”write what you know”. Thanks for your encouragement and candour.
Congratulations Kristin on reaching this achievement. There’s a saying that goes,”write what you know”. Thanks for your encouragement and candour.
That took courage, wow! And how subtly and elegantly you told us. Your writing gets better and best….Kudos to you, girl!
That took courage, wow! And how subtly and elegantly you told us. Your writing gets better and best….Kudos to you, girl!
Congratulations to you, Kristin. Ten years is a great milestone! We all admire your strength of spirit, and courage. Well done! 🙂
Congratulations to you, Kristin. Ten years is a great milestone! We all admire your strength of spirit, and courage. Well done! 🙂
I too have been reading your wonderful blog posts for years and somehow missed this particular challenge. I admire your honesty and your eloquence. I congratulate you on this milestone and look forward to hearing how the cherry tree blossoms.
Felicitations.
Martha
I too have been reading your wonderful blog posts for years and somehow missed this particular challenge. I admire your honesty and your eloquence. I congratulate you on this milestone and look forward to hearing how the cherry tree blossoms.
Felicitations.
Martha
PS I know you can create a beautiful memoir. The most meaningful and heartfelt words come from when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Courage, Kristi! And as you said to me long ago, bonne continuation.
PS I know you can create a beautiful memoir. The most meaningful and heartfelt words come from when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Courage, Kristi! And as you said to me long ago, bonne continuation.
Congratulations on ten years, Kristin! I know your memoir will be wonderful. You can write so well. It will be great, as all your other writing is. Bonne chance.
Congratulations on ten years, Kristin! I know your memoir will be wonderful. You can write so well. It will be great, as all your other writing is. Bonne chance.
Congratulations! You are a model to all of us! My weekness is sugar!!!
Congratulations! You are a model to all of us! My weekness is sugar!!!
Ten years, that is an accomplishment….may you and your family enjoy many many more! Keep on writing!
Ten years, that is an accomplishment….may you and your family enjoy many many more! Keep on writing!
As someone who attends Al Anon meetings to help cope with the effects of a parent who drank, I think you are giving your children the best possible gift — and life– they could have. You’re a strong woman. Congratulations to you. What a great model you are for your children.
As someone who attends Al Anon meetings to help cope with the effects of a parent who drank, I think you are giving your children the best possible gift — and life– they could have. You’re a strong woman. Congratulations to you. What a great model you are for your children.
Congratulations
Have a fabulous day
Congratulations
Have a fabulous day
That was beautiful, Kristin. Write on!
That was beautiful, Kristin. Write on!
And, p.s., after writing my last comment, I went back to the original email with the story and saw your tongue in cheek title for entry. Very cute, and appropriate.
And, p.s., after writing my last comment, I went back to the original email with the story and saw your tongue in cheek title for entry. Very cute, and appropriate.
One day at a time, that’s how it goes. My ex-husband put an “X” through every day of the calendar for 15 years, another day in the light, from the first day of his sobriety until he passed away in 2009, 16 years later.
You can spend the next ten years, and beyond, tending your cherry tree, your lovely family, and a full heart. Bless you.
One day at a time, that’s how it goes. My ex-husband put an “X” through every day of the calendar for 15 years, another day in the light, from the first day of his sobriety until he passed away in 2009, 16 years later.
You can spend the next ten years, and beyond, tending your cherry tree, your lovely family, and a full heart. Bless you.
I can think of nothing to add that hasn’t been said here before. You make so many people smile. 🙂
I can think of nothing to add that hasn’t been said here before. You make so many people smile. 🙂
Congratulations on so many levels to you, ma chere! Onward and upward!
Congratulations on so many levels to you, ma chere! Onward and upward!
Bonjour Kristin.
What a beautiful gift for a beautiful, strong woman. It will blossom through the years as you have and will.
Les bisous. Virginia
Bonjour Kristin.
What a beautiful gift for a beautiful, strong woman. It will blossom through the years as you have and will.
Les bisous. Virginia
Good luck on the next ten as well, hope the new home is being good to you!
Best Wishes
Gary & Diane (and Bonnie & Clyde :-))
Good luck on the next ten as well, hope the new home is being good to you!
Best Wishes
Gary & Diane (and Bonnie & Clyde :-))
Congratulations – 10 years is a milestone. Keep coming back!
Congratulations – 10 years is a milestone. Keep coming back!
Dear Precious Kristen,
First, CONGRATULATIONS, ! ! You belong, to the most grateful group on the face of this planet. And we are all grateful for you and sharing and being such a beautiful example for all of us and those yet to ‘get honest.’ I am just thinking how many you have reached with this acknowledgement and how many you have helped, just being you. Amazing, isn’t it?
What a breath of fresh air to wake up, open my email and find you quietly curled up waiting with such wonderful gifts of words to open and explore and reflect upon. Truth and sharing and beautiful pictures painted with your words.
I’ve known Bill Wilson since 1983 and this journey is truly ‘one day at a time.’ You can have the years under your belt that I have this morning. So proud of you.
And So grateful that I am because I found all of you.
My very best wishes that you have many more such milestones. And I know you will. Jacquie
Dear Precious Kristen,
First, CONGRATULATIONS, ! ! You belong, to the most grateful group on the face of this planet. And we are all grateful for you and sharing and being such a beautiful example for all of us and those yet to ‘get honest.’ I am just thinking how many you have reached with this acknowledgement and how many you have helped, just being you. Amazing, isn’t it?
What a breath of fresh air to wake up, open my email and find you quietly curled up waiting with such wonderful gifts of words to open and explore and reflect upon. Truth and sharing and beautiful pictures painted with your words.
I’ve known Bill Wilson since 1983 and this journey is truly ‘one day at a time.’ You can have the years under your belt that I have this morning. So proud of you.
And So grateful that I am because I found all of you.
My very best wishes that you have many more such milestones. And I know you will. Jacquie