Tuesday is Valentine's Day! Don't miss these excellent French terms of endearment. Be sure to scribble one of them into a card or, better yet, whisper one of these into someone's oreille! Photo "Waiting for some Sweethearts" taken in Paris.
bosse (bohce) noun, feminine
: bump
J'ai découvert une bosse sur la tête. I found a bump on my head.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
(A review of the past four weeks…)
Sometime last month I began waking early each morning with a strong sense of apprehension.
"It has to come off," the dermatologist had said, confirming my worst fears. Dommage you didn't come in three years ago, it would have been a matter of a few stitches then…
After the surgery on my forehead, last fall, in which a lesion about the same size as the one of my nose was removed, I was afraid to go back under the knife. Given how much they took off for the similar-sized growth, might I lose my nose? (I remembered all those Google images for "basal cell carcinoma", and all my feverish internet searching which yielded horror image after horror image–including amputated noses!)
My middle-of-the night sweats continued. Then, something mind-altering happened. I discovered a bump on my head…
Fast as that I forgot about my nose. I turned all of my attention to the pea-size growth on the side of my head, une bosse as hard as a rock.
I wondered, was I being paranoid? Had the bump always been there?
At the Clinique de Provence the lab technician called me in a second time. "We need to take another X-ray…" I stepped back onto the machine, resting my back on its cold metal wall for balance. Following the technician's example, I put the tip of my finger on my head, indicating the bump's location, and stood so still I dared not breathe. As the X-ray began, the floor beneath my feet moved from side to side, like a fairground ride, only much slower. It was my mind that raced, in a marathon prayer.
Notre père qui est aux cieux.
Que ton nom soit sanctifié….
And then, briefly:
PleaseJesuspleaseJesuspleaseJesus!
"OK, you can wait in the salle d'attente…" The technician showed me out of the room.
The third time the technician returned, she informed me that the doctor wanted to do an échographie. More information was needed.
As I waited for the ultrasound exam, the woman beside me complained about her test results which indicated a sprained wrist. How would she cope? she wondered aloud.
I left the distraught woman, and was led into another room where I lay down on a table, letting the doctor smear a cold gel onto the side of my head. I watched the computer screen as the doctor ran a kind of large rollerpen over the bump.
"When did you first notice it?" he questioned, his accent as heavy as my own. Iran? Pakistan?
"A few months ago."
The ultrasound screen showed my scull, which looked like the surface of the moon. A little farther along this smooth surface, we saw the bump. The doctor paused to measure it: 7.2 mm
"Have you seen other patients with these kind of bumps on their heads?" I wanted to know.
"Ne vous inquiètez pas," he assured me. The bump was hard and not soft. I took that to be a good sign, guessing that tumors were soft. "But you will need to have a brain scan…" he added.
The doctor was kind enough to make the appointment for me at the hospital in Orange. The downside, I would need to wait one week until I could have the necessary test.
During the one-week attente, I rarely thought about my upcoming operation for the removal of the lesion on my nose. It seemed absurd, now, to worry about a patch of skin, one that could easily be removed. But how would a bump on the side of my head be removed? Should it be removed? And then it occured to me: if there was a problem with my head, then maybe there would not be an operation on my nose afterall…
In the following days I thought about the many undones in my life. I would need to burn my diaries! Also, would there be time to make another book? I would want to save these blog stories for my kids to enjoy one day… as a way for them to know their mom better–she is not the overserious maman that they mistake her for. …Please, dear God, make it so that this bump is benign–it is my kids who need their mother, my husband who needs his wife, my mom who needs her daughter, my family, friends who need…
On January 12th, my friend Phyllis accompanied me to the hospital, where I had a brain scan. An hour later, when the doctor called me into her office, we had not sat down before she announced: c'est bénin.
I repeated the foreign words enough times for them to register, before throwing my arms around the conservative doctor, and babbling the news to Phyllis, who I could have KISSED! And maybe I did.
Ten days ago I had that second lesion on my face removed. Wide awake this time, I can tell you that the operation went beautifully and I am the proud wearer of 17 rock star stitches that travel down my nose like a backward "L"…
During that interminable week of waiting for the brain scan, I had tried to decide just what was the most important thing in life–or what would be the most meaningful way to live out the rest of one's days, whether that be one month or one decade. I am honored to have the answer stitched down the side on my nose, beginning in one great "L". Love–loving everyone who we come in contact with: the lovely ones and even the grumpy ones. Especially the grumpy ones!
I get my stitches out on Wednesday. I often look in the mirror, just to check them, and to remember to say thanks. And I am thankful for this bump on the side of my head (my husband calls it my corne, or "horn", indeed, I am a Capricorn! And this boney bump–though it may not be as grand as the mythic goat's–is a great reminder to live strongly, fortified by love.
I appreciate your comments! To respond to this story, click here.
French Vocabulary
dommage = too bad
une bosse = bump
Notre père qui est aux cieux. Que ton nom soit sanctifié…. = Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed by Thy name
la salle d'attente = waiting room
une échographie = ultrasound
ne vous inquiètez pas = do not worry
une attente = wait
c'est bénin = it's benign
Tip: Check out our "What to do in Paris?" page, and see all the great tips that readers have sent in!
Meantime, here one more tip: Visit the American Libary: this week Robert Camuto is speaking. He is part of a three person wine/cheese/perfume panel! Check it out here.
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OH MY DARLING KRISTI…
I wish I could be with you now….
XOXO
MOM
I’m so relieved for you and will try to remember to worry less myself.
The best Valentine I could receive… I, too, thought the L was for Love (and even for the first initial of the last name of someone who loves you so much).
Amen to the truth of “live strongly, fortified by love”.
I’ve had my own recent medical adventures that have reminded me to take better stock of what was important. I’m so happy your bump was “benin” and that the 2nd basal cell went beautifully As I’ve mentioned before, it is a common surgery here in the mountains.
On a lighter note, I love the photographic theme of the pair of empty chairs, or rather chairs waiting patiently to be occupied by some interesting couple. I’ll keep my photographic eye out for more similar scenes.
Note: I saw FWAD on Facebook but did not receive a copy via email as usual. Perhaps the email failed, which explains the small number of comments so far.
I am a bit at a loss for words (in either French or English!). Thinking of you and wishing you and Jean Marc a lovely Valentine’s Day. I hope you do something very special.
Margaret in cold and windy Durham, NC
I admire you so much for your strength and how you are able to express yourself in such a human and loving way. The best to you. Jeanette
WOW!!! You got me! After the last post, this follow up about your own life and death scare had me glued to my seat, heart in my throat, tears in my eyes, hoping and silently pleading to not let it be so. So grateful that things are benign!!! You make us truly appreciate life and those we love.
Dear Kristin,I have had many of these zappings and two serious melanomas on my check and lower eye lid. The experience has made me so appreciative of what the dermatologists and surgeons can do! And I am alive!! You were so smart to go immediately for a check up. Lets hope that this will be the last. It is sunscreen and hats everyday now for both of us. I have recommended the format of your blog to others. It is always a delight and a discovery to open my email and get your posting. Merci mille fois!!
Hi Kristin,
Keeping you in my thoughts and so glad the bump was benign. I hope you have a nice Valentine’s Day with Jean Marc!
Kristi!!!! That would be so scary to go through. Very grateful le (or is it la?) bump is benign and your second surgery went well. Nothing to worry about…lots to think and pray about.
You have been through so much, and are in my prayers!
Dear Kristi,
Isn’t it wonderful how God puts everything into perspective just when we need it. Hugs for healing & lessons learned. Love is #1. I have it so easy with my resident grump. All these emotions are really showcasing your sensitive writing. Though I’m sure you would like a vacation from the intensity.
Peace,
Betty
Dear Kristi, I am so glad that it was benign. That must have been so hard to go through. Thank you so much for sharing so honestly with all of us. I had something similar with a breast lump, and I do well recall the oh, so slow passage of time until I got the results that all was OK.
Frances
THANKS BETTY – MY DEAR FRIEND – for saying the things i was feeling when I first read Kristi’s post. I am overwhelmed at all Kristi has had to deal with for the past 6 months. I think Kristi needs a little more rest…time to just think of herself and pamper herself.
XOXO
JULES
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your family. Thank you for sharing. You have many people you’ve not met in real life who feel as if you’re part of our families too. Very best wishes!
A positive to bosse…My grandmother was Lorette Bosse…but being benign is a very good and positive thing, too.
Dear Kristin you have been in my prayers. I do hope you and your handsome husband have a Bonne Saint-Valentin. Bonne Santé mon amie.
Wonderful news, Kristin!!! We shall toast you with a glass of Jean-Marc’s wine!!! I am relieved for you!
Kristi,
Good news after a big scare. This thing called life is full of bumps. We must deal with them and move on. We should drink the better bottle of wine, laugh loudy, and make the most of every day. From what I know about your life as I enjoy your blog three times a week, you understand.
Some of us have more serious bumps. We deal with them and enjoy an even better bottle of wine.
If Bob Dylan’s wishes could only come true. “May you stay forever young.” Until then, it is up to us.
Amicalement,
Dennis
It is still Sunday here in Chicago. I think the post is early this time.
I am very glad you have come through these events well. Your writing is compelling when the subject is compelling itself. I could feel the tension building and easing away, and see the structure of your life change shape just a bit.
Glad you are taking care of yourself so you can take care of all those who are so important to you.
Sarah near Chicago.
Dear Kristin,
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your husband. I have been praying for you–like everyone else! So glad all is benign…I happen to be a cancer survivor (nonhodgkins lymphoma)so I can relate to your fears. No worries: remember: “when fear knocks on your door, send faith to answer.”
-from your friend in Michigan
Oh my gosh! You are so brave to post these private thoughts for us strangers to share. We are brought closer to you by this shining moment. We may not be there but we may help. Tell us how. Of course prayer. What else?
Such a relief to know you’re well. Yes living with love is the greatest lesson.
Kristin,
I’m very happy about your good news!! I’m sure you must be rejoicing and feeling 20 pounds lighter with this horrible weight lifted from your mind. Don’t you wish there was some switch we could just pull, to turn off our racing minds at times like these! My husband always tells me, “I’ll worry about it if it happens” — oh, to have that ability to not worry until we really need to. Not fair! I want that! I truly am happy you have received the good news and can now go about ‘dancing like no one’s watching.’ Thank you for sharing with us! Judi
Thank you for putting into words, all of my thoughts and fears. I too have a backwards ‘L’ on the side of my nose. I too experienced the real terror of possible disfigurement due to basal cell surgery…and I too have been able to finally put things in perspective.
I so look forward to and appreciate receiving your posts. Originally I signed up because of my love of all things French. After 9 years of French language in school, I still feel like a beginner. However, you offer so much more than simple vocabulary. You offer a unique perspective on life. Thank you and take good care of yourself.
Kristin – Good news. But I did want to tell you I am now 70 and when I was 32 I began a long “dance” with skin cancer. No sun bathing, hats all the time, automatiquement 15 spf sun screen… even when it is dark skies and pouring rain – face, back of hands, neck, arms. I still see the derm 3 times per year. I have many biopsies and some surgeries… but what I want you to know is STAY ON TOP OF IT. Then they will be small and easily gotten. Sometimes I find them. Many times my doctor does. Don’t think they are finished. I do go through periods when I don’t have any. I think sometimes it has to do with my own immune system. And other times I have a lot of them. And take some Vit. D capsules. Best wishes. Melinda
Our dear Kristin,
Thank God!
We rejoice with and for you!
You set such an example!
Thank you for sharing with us!
Those who have experienced this scare are a special and blessed group.
Feel this hug?
It’s from all of us, your fortunate readers,
(who truly are friends and FWAD family!!!)
Blessings to all of you, XO
Terrific post, with a wonderful message and a wonderfully happy ending for this health-chapter: “Brava La Bosse Benine!!” or hurrays to that effect. Great that you also thought at once of writing MORE as fast as possible if time became tight — a branch of your loving nature that benefits all of us soooo much, Kristi!
Dear Kristi,
I am so glad to hear this good news. You have been through so much lately. Ah, the human experience! The only “good” thing to be said about frightening medical moments is that they very quickly remind us what is, and is not important.
They make us realize how precious each day is that we have.
Diane (Oak Ridge, NJ)
Bless you, Kristin. I’m so happy you are through this with happy news and still good health!
Kristin,
So many people here have expressed my thoughts much more eloquently than I can. I really hope that this is the beginning of some well-deserved calm times for you. I know that feeling of having to wait for tests and news and also the wonder of hearing the word “benign”! It’s amazing how things in our lives get put into perspective so quickly—-and what a blessing to have that while we can make adjustments! So glad to get your good news!
Quelle surprise agréable, you’re early today. Chère Kristin, tu as la bosse de l’écriture, you kept me in suspense and then came the happy ending. Youpi, comme je suis contente que tout s’est bien passé pour toi, Kristin. Le L pour L’amour, however, I hope it won’t scar your beautiful face. Bonne Journée!
What a wonderful story, and just in time for Heart day (my personal name for Valentine’s day). Wear your scar like a badge of honor, a merit badge, if you will. It is the mark of victory.
blessings,
very best regards,
happy heart day!
Congratulations on your great news!
I am so thrilled with your news. Going through these trying times can wear us down. Blessings your way!
Happy, Happy Valentines Day!
xoxo
I knew a homeless man here in New York who was old and very frail. He slept on a lawn chair one August, just before Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. One day, the Parks Dept. took away the chair and dumped it, so he went back to sleeping on the pavement. After the hurricane, he told me how sorry he felt for people in New Orleans. “They lost EVERYTHING,” he said. He died this fall, the day Hurricane Irene hit New York. He taught me so much about gratitude.
Wonderful news Kristin, very happy for you.
Thanks for sharing, you’ve been in my prayers.
What wonderful news —- congrats!
Stay well!
O U F ! J’attendais avec impatience ces bonnes nouvelles.
Mille fois merci de non seulement partager vos gros soucis avec nous mais d’être un beau modèle de courage et de prendre le temps de nous soulager. Dieu vous bénisse !
nadine de Californie
I’m very happy for you and the good news. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 9 years ago. We call it “dancing with NED” (no evidence of disease). There are millions of us who have either had cancer and been cured or made a narrow escape. Welcome to the dance!
Inspiring stuff Kristen, keep on keeping on please!
Bon courage x
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your loved ones. I share your sigh of relief and applaud your newfound wisdom. Great writing too!
Oh, I am so happy for you and your family. Thank God you are OK!! Hugs!
Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day!!
Life………..definitely an adventure. So happy that your nose looks super with “love” written on it. I guess that most of us didn’t realize that we needed to develop so much “character”–be well, you are in my thoughts and heart. Mary
Hi Kirsten,
there I was sitting at the computer while grabbing my morning coffee and bemoaning my son’s failure to behave 100% the way I wanted him to, during the half-term holiday which starts today…..read your post and was stunned by how silly I have been! Am about to jump up and get the paints out and enjoy a lovely day of making and painting with my wonderful child. THANKYOU.
May we send you an enormous heart-shaped hug – you are very brave and very special and we wish you a super-shiney-red Valentine Day with your loved ones.
L.
Love is the answer. My favorite phrase.
I read about your journey through the hospital and emotions steep in the face of uncertainty. You are a brave soul and your stories are so love filled. I pray that this will be a speedy recovery for you and that your heart is light in the celebration of LOVE this Valentine’s Day.
Hi Kristin,
You continue to inspire and amaze me with your strength and fantastic attitude to life. I have been thinking of you heaps and am very relieved to hear c’est benin.
Sending hugs heal well
Chris
Ps heading your way in April would love to drop in if it’s convenient
Kristin, your writing brings so much positive energy to your readers!
Sending good wishes and prayers your way,
Anita
Dear Kristin,
I am just one of your many cyber friends who are so relieved to hear that you are ok.You must be very tired with all the worry and as Jules says,you need some quiet time and no pressure. It does put everything into perspective!
Hugs
Angela in Sussex
What sweet news to get so early in the a.m. Your love of life- of your family, of your surroundings is quite contagious. Wishing you and your wonderful family happy Valentine Day celebrations, and more importantly, continued loving years ahead! Phew! Ouf! Relieved about your results.
Warmly,
Jackie- Natick, MA