"Ruff Ruff Rasta" A couple of curly-haired characters encountered over the weekend. Never miss a word or a photo – click here to receive the free word-a-day newsletter.
s'amuser (saah moo zay)
: to have fun
Audio File: Listen to Jean-Marc pronounce these French words:(Download MP3 file or Wav)
On s'amuse bien avec les amis. We have a lot of fun with friends.
A Day in a French Life… by Kristin Espinasse
The Comparison Trap
Around eleven or twelve years ago, a group of childhood friends began to meet yearly, for a four-day retreat, so as never to lose touch with each other – or with reality. It didn't matter if the flurry of the everyday threatened ("You are too busy – this year you cannot get away!") and distance might try–but could not succeed–in keeping the longtime friends from meeting.
The wives of these French friends were, for the most part, enthusiastic complices, game to hike, swim, and shimmy alongside their men, to go where the sun, the sea, and the sheer thrill might take them. All the wives, that is, but one….
"But this year will be different!" I listened to the voice of reason cheering in my mind. "You are no longer that complexed, still-trying-to-fit-in non-citizen. You can now cook, speak, and even manage to run a family…" Yes, but I still cannot get into one of their French bikinis!
And so it was that I joined my husband's friends and spent the weekend trying to keep up with their fit and fun-loving women. The lieu: a family-friendly, all-inclusive, seaside club, just a four-hours' drive from our farm.
"Tu nous rejoins pour l'aquagym?" or "Allez! On va danser la Zumba!" The wives encouraged, and I stared back, doubtfully, at the athletic-looking ladies. I wondered about things like swimsuits and sportsbriefs – did we really have to wear these tightish things? Why couldn't we just go to the movies?
"Allez! On va s'amuser!" The women assured me. We needed not follow the dancers in step – the goal was to unwind! In the end, I set aside any complexes… in time to shimmy with the best of them. I tried to ignore the curious bystanders (mostly our husbands, who were piled up at the door to the dance class), and I told myself that it didn't matter that I'd forgotten my glasses — just follow the woman ahead of me (who followed the one ahead of her, and so on… each moving in the opposite direction).
In the evening, I tried not to be too envious when, at dinner, the women arrived the best dressed. I wore the same pair of cargo pants each evening, having recently grown out of my slacks, my jeans, and other things. And when another bout of doubt threatened to steal the moment, I quietly reminded myself of the privilege that was mine — to be here listening to these French voices after all this time. Tuning in to the foreign hum…. I could quiet the inner critic in time to join the fun-loving ones.
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Le Coin Commentaires
How about you? Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself with others–after all these years? And in what areas?: intelligence or career or physique or speaking or cooking abilities? Do you compare yourself to other parents? to other spouses? to colleagues? Or simply to others in your same age group (wondering whether you or they look their age)? What ways have you found in which to overcome "the comparison trap"? Is it selfish or dim-witted or useless to compare — or is it "only human"? Click here to comment.
And what if dogs self-compared? What if they compared their hair?
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French Vocab & Expressions
la/le complice = accomplice
l'aquagym (f) = aquaerobics
Tu nous rejoins pour l'aquagym? = Meet us for aquagym?
Allez! On va danser la Zumba! = Come on! We're going to dance the Zumba!
Allez! On va s'amuser! = Come on! We're going to have fun!
Thank you for visiting today's sponsors
Provence Dreamin'? Maison des Pelerins, Sablet. A Vacation Rental Dream in the heart of the Côte du Rhone.
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The Most Beautiful Walk in the World: A Pedestrian in Paris. In this enchanting memoir, acclaimed author and longtime Paris resident John Baxter remembers his yearlong experience of giving "literary walking tours" through the city. Baxter sets off with unsuspecting tourists in tow on the trail of Paris's legendary artists and writers of the past. Order here.
In Movies: Coco Before Chanel: The intriguing portrait of the early life of Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel, the orphan who would build a fashion empire and be known universally by her nickname, Coco. She journeys from a mundane seamstress job to boisterous cabarets to the opulent French countryside, possessing little more than her unwavering determination, unique style and visionary talent. Order the DVD.
Savon de Marseille : Traditional, pure olive oil soap from France. Order here.
"A breath of bougainvillea" in Costa Brava, Spain. All photos (c) Kristin Espinasse
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Welcome back, Beauty, you have been missed! I ADORE the photos of those two dogs — what a unique pair and such a treat to draw us in to your story after being away! True to your form, you did not dismay.
I can relate! Especially these days as middle age drastically expands my midsection. It is as we grow to learn, like so much in life: certain things come easy to some who can’t understand how others struggle with it, while others struggle where we find ease. When I am feeling comfortable with myself and the company I keep, I have little desire to compare or compete, but instead look curiously at and honor our differences.
I haven’t had the time to read the comments yet. Though I look forward to doing so as I feel they will be interesting. I hope you enjoyed your little break! So glad to have you back home!
Righto everyone…. there is to be a mass meet up in Sainte Cecile and we are taking Kristin out shopping! Who’s in? 😉
The message is sinking in: “We ams what we ams!” (thanks, Pat! Thanks Popeye!).
Thank you, everyone, for each and every word – so many interesting thoughts and useful ideas. I will “chew on them” (as Mom says) while catching up with my gardening this morning. Which reminds me: TURF! It feels so good and secure to be on our own controlled, familiar, private turf — it is when venturing out of it… on to another’s… that things get shaky. I think this explains what happened to me. Thank you for reading my story and for responding so warmly.
Gretel: MDR (LOL): I need a dress for a couple of summer weddings… so will take you and the others up on this idea! 😉
Fred, I didn’t realize that it was Nancy who told you about this blog. So good to know that (thanks, Nancy!)
What a great start with the perfect photo of the furry dogs. Hahaha, they look like…mops.
Kristin, you’re a beautiful woman with a lot going for you. I bet those women secretly envy you. But I guess you could not help it. My husband would tell me that comparisons were a waste of time. But at times, I compare myself to people, mostly to women, when I lack self confidence in certain areas. And when I am sure of myself, I don’t.
Hi Kristin, are those saying that they never envy others or compare themselves to others really being honest with themselves. I do believe the comparisons (sp) or subjects or things we compare ourselves with or to, do change over time. From a 70+++er
Kristen: I am a French Teacher in Nebraska. You and I both studied in Aix en Provence at the same time; you stayed and married, I came back to the states. We both have children the same age-my son is now 16, my daughter is turning 13 in 2 weeks; We both have fantastic husbands; we each love photography; we each love gardening; and we are both “dog people”. You are blonde, I am brunette…it is as if we are alter egos, but I always enjoy reading your blog, because it’s as if I get to see what life “could have been” like should I have chosen to live in Aix. Your style of writing appeals to me, your photography motivates me, and some day, I would like to meet you at a book signing or something. You are an inspiration to me! So my comparisons to you aren’t negative, they are interesting and uplifting! I wish you the best of luck in France!