"Méfiance & Insouciance" ("Mistrust & Unconcern").
The pictures above show Smokey's parents, Sam & Braise, illustrating the concept of "méfiance" (see Sam, left) and carefree "insouciance" (see Braise, right). Smokey's family trusts that he will move from one emotional stage to the other, before long (we hope!). (See the original photo at the end of this edition.)
subir (soo-beer) verb
to suffer, undergo; to be subjected to
Check out this verb conjugator for the French word subir.
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Le chiot a subi un gros choc emotionnel suite à l'attaque.
The puppy suffered a great emotional shock following the attack.
A Day in a French Life…
by Kristin Espinasse
Gone is the puppy breath. Gone is the bubbily chubbily jubilance. When two attack dogs mauled our 9-weeks-old puppy, stolen was his "childhood" innocence. That carefree trust-all esprit* has been replaced with méfiance*. Gone is the gung ho glee.
Manque de chance.*
Huffy-puffy playfulness has been replaced with post-traumatic stress. Whereas one week ago our puppy basked in make-believe:
I'm a mighty musketeer — just look at me, here!
See me soar — me and my puppy power galore!
Superhero, superdog — watch me charge across the room… and wrestled that wooden clog!
Grrrr-umph, Grrrhumph — now watch me wag my tail in triumph!
These days our puppy–who used to wrestle the roots of towering trees–is afraid of rustling, feather-light leaves.
Like this it's been four days now that he's been camped beside me (and his mama, there, see?).
Where once her soft stomach was his second home, now Smokey's mother backs away, twitches her nose and groans.
Looking down in my lap at the shaky survivor, I try to read our puppy's mind. Here, from what I can gather, is what Smokey is thinking:
Rejection, dejection, this is no vie de chien.*
I thought I was supposed to chase butterflies…
instead of hiding from them.
Update: Our puppy continues to make physical progress never mind his emotional distress. The staples in his throat and cheek will be taken out, hopefully, on Friday. He is eating well and he wags his tail, gratefully, when we call his name (whether that be "Smokey," "Smokey Bear," "Smoke-Meister," "Smoke-A-Roo," "Smokester," "Mister Smokey," or simply, lovingly "Golden Smokey!"
Comments and messages to Smokey are welcome and appreciated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~French Vocabulary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
la méfiance (f) = distrust; le manque (m) de chance = unluckiness; une vie (f) de chien = dog's life
Back when Sam came for a visit, last June… following their amorous escapade in Marseilles… he left a few of his genes behind. "Smokey" and his siblings were born some 9 weeks later! Braise looks like a happy camper, n'est-ce pas? Ah, les femmes enceintes — how they glow!
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Dear Kristin, Smokey, and family.
Thank you for the much anticipated update. This has been traumatic for all of you. Be prepared for the emotional trauma to take time to heal — time for all of you. I am not sure what Braise is going through but her trauma and wounds need to heal too. I know that my cat Bacall absolutely freaks out with vet smells and used to attack her poor brother Bogart when he returned from his cancer treatments. Maybe you can rum some baby powder or something on him to neutralize the vet/blood smells. Give them time. It is clear she has not rejected him.
Thank you again for the update. I am glad to see he is looking a bit more perky. I hope you are too.
Margaret
Sorry, rum should read rub! Maybe some rum isn’t a bad idea though….
It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ J’espère que c’est la même chose pour petit Smokey, mai ça me brise le coeur. Tenez bon, Cindy
Hello Kristin, I’m a friend of Carolyn Mitchell’s from Minneapolis. I’ve read your blog all summer, now through the fall, and enjoy it so very much. The wonderful puppy pictures make me smile daily, and your commentary is great! Had to write to tell you the same thing happened to our yellow lab puppy (Bjorn) at about the same age. And, to make it a bit more awful all around, it was my employee’s dog that mauled mine! You are all so loving with that sweet little baby, and he WILL start to chase those butterflies soon….our baby Bjorn grew to be a lively, chewing machine! (He ate my cabinets, oriental rug, and the bumper off my Jeep!) No residual damage. Give Smokey a little hug from me. By the by, we bought a few cases of your wine this summer when your husband flew through. It was the highlight of our summer! When friends came over we opened a bottle of our prized rose’ to share with them. It was really really special to drink something with a direct connection to the growers. Best of luck on your venture! You have a customer for life. Suzanne Stegic
Many many bisous to Smokey. xxo
Those pictures capture it all. How sad.
I know you must be upset with Braise. It’s hard to understand that behavior. As much as we humanize our pets, we forget that they are still animals who we wish would have deep feelings that rule their lives but instead are truly self survivalists wolf-dogs to the core.
My two adorable dogs are inseparable and loving friends. My one dog, Sadie, is epileptic though, and when she has a seizure the other dog, Molly, turns into a attack wolf. Seizures are a little bit like seeing someone possessed by the devil, so I can somewhat understand the reaction, but the same thing has occurred whenever Sadie has had even the smallest of surgeries or even when Sadie returns from a normal visit to the vet! It seems like it must be some “Get fit, act right or get out” mentality. The strange thing is that Sadie has NEVER done this to Molly. Is it that “alpha dog” issue, I wonder??
Anyway, they will work it all out with no hard feelings. Something us humans have a much harder time doing.
Karen
Maryland, USA
We were so Sorry to hear of Braise and Smokeys ordeal, we too had a nine week old retreiver called Benson, who like Smokey was a brave trusting puppy, with not a care in the world, when he was attacked in our own garden by a large powerful dog, he had vitually the same injuries, a big gash to the face and throat but the sreams from him, have never left us, it was horrible.
However he did recover,but was very timid and nervous for the rest of his 13 years,sadly we lost him after a very good life to old age, last April (the last 4 years of his life living in France, a paradise for him.)
Give Smokey a big hug from us, and tell him to be a brave boy, we have really enjoyed all his pictures,
Wishing you all the best,
Paul and Mandy Mullins (Creuse)
Kristen, I receive your newsletter and have loved the puppy diary. I am so sorry for Smoky. We have a 3 year old Lagado Romagnolo who we rescued at 8 months. He was never physically harmed but he still has fears of other dogs especially Alsatiens, yet he survived in the shelter for six weeks.
Mugsy is getting better.
Hugs and kisses to Smoky,
Harriet
Hang in there, Smokey, you will get better. We’re all routing for you. My resistance to getting another dog (a Golden, of course) is crumbling seeing the sweet pictures of you and your mother.
Poor little guy! And how traumatic for all of you. I am so sorry that you and your family experienced this. Your love and care will make the world will seem safe to him again, and he will romp and explore once more. May the amazing resilience of living things, especially the young of all species, inspire your family as you recover from this awful event.
I am so sorry to hear about Smokey. I had a blond lab many years ago, Sally, and she had an accident. She ran out of my car and got hit by another car. I thought I had lost her, but the doctor took care of her. She was very quiet for a long time which she needed to do so her leg would heal well. We kept her where she would not have to go up and down stairs.
When she healed she hardly had a limp. And then she became spunky again. But you are right probably, Smokey’s puppyhood has been curtailed, I hope only temporarily until she heals and feels better. My sympathies to you during this difficult and sad time.
Love, Renée
Poor little Smokey…I couldn’t even write the other day, I was so overcome with shock…how sad that this had to happen to the poor little guy.
But your love will help him heal and trust again.
Big hug to Smokey and Braise too 🙂 Diane
Cher Smokey,
I’m so sorry to hear about your accident. No doubt it was very frightening for you 🙁 It sure was for your family and friends!!! Get plenty of rest, soak up all that TLC and you’ll be chasing butterflies before you know it.
Hugs and Love,
Lisa
Oh, poor Smokey! I was so sorry to hear about the attack on him. How terrible for him and how frightened he must have been! It may be a while before he realizes that he is a very lucky fellow to have survived such a vicious attack. I am glad that you found him when you did and got him to a vet in time to save him. He needs lots of loves and it’s really a bummer that what would comfort him the most, his mom’s tummy, is off the menu. I know, though, that his human family will give him lots of pats and cuddles to help him feel better soon.
Dear Smokey,
You remind me of my son. His first day of pre-school a boy came up to him and hit him in the head with a plastic truck. He had never been hit and was utterly shocked, then water began pouring down his cheeks. Gone were the days of him thinking nobody would ever hit him. He was looking over his shoulder for a while, but grew to be a star…just as you will do little guy 🙂
Poor little guy my heart does go out to him. Lucky for him hes got you and your family to love and care for him. His scars will heal and so will his fears with love and patience. Big hug to him and thanks to you for a wonderful newsletter/blog that I have enjoyed over the last couple of months. Much Love Jackie, Pas de Calais xx
dogs wag taiis, not tales
dead men tell no tales, not tails
Your poor, poor little pup. He is so adorable it is really so sad that he has been beaten up like this. I hope he is soon on the road to recovery and regains his joie de vivre X
Thank you for the update. I’ve been wondering how he is. Poor baby, I wish I could reach through the computer and scoop him up to cuddle the sad pup. Have faith, it is early days. In time both he and Braise will be better. How fortunate for them both to have such loving owners.
Poor little scared Smokey. Thanks for update. I’m sure your love and attention will make up for what he’s not getting from Braise. Perhaps if you give Smokey a bath that will erase whatever smell repels his mother. For all you know, he now smells like the dogs that attacked him, which would explain why Braise does not want to “mother” him in his time of need.
Progress not perfection! The rule for all as time passes.
XO
I was so sad to hear of Smokey’s horrible attack but am glad to read that he’s physically doing better.
I am a long time Golden owner and I currently raise service animals. I wanted to share my “jolly routine” with you, which will help dear Smokey to overcome his timidness.
When Smokey reacts to something he perceives as scary (a leaf, a balloon, a loud noise), you want to make sure you avoid coddling him at all costs. DO NOT stroke him gently and tell him, “It’s ok… I won’t let that balloon (ladder, vacuum etc) hurt you!”. To dogs, that sounds like praise and you will be reinforcing the fearful behavior. The last thing you want the puppy to think is, “I am supposed to react like this when I am unsure of something”.
What TO DO with a fearful reaction is to walk confidently up to the object and do your “Jolly Routine”. Release the pup and say “Whoa! Did you see that amazing balloon/scary noise/etc?!? It is soooo much fun!” Use a big voice with lots of intonation. Act goofy, like the object is the best thing in the world, and encourage Smokey to sniff it (but don’t force him to get close if he balks). Have lots of treats in your pocket (I use Cheerios and small puppy kibble) and feed Smokey generously as he nears the object, drawing him closer to the object and treating him and giving big pats on his sides. When you’re rewarding him, praise him too, saying “yes, good boy” in your big girl voice, not a sweet, coddling voice. If he is not willing to approach the object, you can bend down and touch and talk to the object to show that it’s not scary… Yes, you may look crazy if you are in public, but it is best for the pup. 🙂
Having Smokey come up and sniff the object and perhaps touch it (my current pup was afraid of a stump in the garden, and eventually, she was able to stand on it as if to say “look at me, I’ve conquered this horrible tree stump!”) is the best way to see if he is gaining confidence around the thing that scared him. Doing several passes by the object will help to see if he is still avoiding it and if there is any lingering fear. This takes time, so don’t rush this, but be consistent, or Smokey will think that it’s okay to balk at something, which will only reinforce his fear.
Be patient and be enthusiastic and give lots of treats. Help Smokey get through this fear period in a positive manner, and he will be his puppy-self soon–chomping on leaves and chasing butteflies!
My current Golden Retriever Bijou sends puppy kisses to Braise and Smokey and wishes she lived in France, since people there would know the meaning of her name (gem; jewel)! And hugs to you Kristin, and your family.
–Catherine Burnett
Virginia (Arizonan at heart)
Ohhhhh, I hope Smokey gets better. He will be OK, with help from his loving owners…time heals all wounds. What happened to the dogs who attacked him?
Great advice from Catherine, above!
Our first reactions as humans is to coddle and protect; I would smother Smokey in love each time he jumped at anything but Catherine B. is right – it only reinforces the reaction in a puppy – be strong, Mama Kirsten. Positive and brave play is needed to heal Smokey’s emotional wounds; his tough little body with do the rest. Love to all of you.
Jeannie – a chilly morning in the hills of north central Arizona, warming to 75 later.
Dear Kristen and family:
I’m happy to read your blog and find out that Smokey is on his way to recovery and before you know it, he will be back being himself again.
Chere Kristin,
Your heart may feel permanently lodged in your throat but I believe with all my heart that Smokey grows stronger every day and will soon again be that bouncey pup. He just needs the time to heal. That is wonderful advice from Catherine in Virginia, and it probably pertains to humans as well. Take it a day at a time, and stop blaming yourself for all of this (which I am quite sure you are doing even if you don’t realize it). My heart goes out to all of you.
Kisses and hugs,
Diane
Smokey (and Braise, and readers), “Things that don’t actually kill us outright make us stronger” – Piet Hein, Danish nathematician and writer.
Wishing you a complete recovery, Smokey. Think of all the fun you will have when you are mended. Your family will give you lots of good times and plenty of love. You, too, Braise.
I’m sure if anyone can help Smokey and Braise, it is la famille Espinasse.
Dearest Kristi,
I am always amazed at the wisdom which pours into my soul from your “comments box” –
Years ago (during my 25 years as a ‘divorsee’ (sp??) my mantra to all of my friends was “Treat your man like a dog and he will love you forever.!” As I read your stories and especially your friends who so generously comment I am taken aback (is aback a word?) by the generous sharing of wisdom you receive from your friends at French-Word-A-Day. As I told you yesterday on the phone, I am constantly amazed at how you are continuely teaching an old dog ( ME ) new tricks as our life unfolds.
I must say I am thoroughly enjoying the way your friends have picked up on you Darling Dad’s encouragement to all of us to post our city and country. Jeannie, you have of course expanded this with your current weather – which is brillant for an obsessive (sp?) weather watcher like me.
I love all of you so much.
XOXO
JULES – PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO
Cool rain in the jungle here today !!!
Looking at your website has been a highlight of our day ever since the puppies have been with you. We talk about them everyday and I have them as my screen saver. My entire household was heartbroken when we heard what happened. Please take care of smokey and braise and give us constant updates!!
My heartfelt wishes for a speedy resolution. Perhaps rubbing Smokey with the essence of Braise’s favorite treat might do the trick to reestablish the bond. I’ve seen that work. Also give Braise special attention as she may be feeling despondent over not protecting her pup.
With care you will all recover from your wounds. Love & hugs to all
Amor… love… amour…
Andrea – Austin, TX
Kristen,
I am so distressed about what happened to Smokey. I just felt sick to my stomach when I received your email the other day. My thoughts and prayers are with Smokey for his full recovery.
Much love to little Smokey and family as he heals!
Kristin, one commenter mentioned the “jolly game”. I’ve used that with my dog who was rescued from a puppy mill. He was scared of everything and everyone. Once I gained his trust we did the jolly game and it really helped. He will always be a bit timid and scared about stuff but is definitely better. Right now Smokey needs love and in a few days after the staples/stitches are out you might want to start the jolly game.
Rainy and overcast-but then we are in Seattle!
My puppy and I suffered a similar attack, and it was horribly traumatic. She survived and so did I, but it takes a while. Hold fast to your faith – Smokey will turn back into a fun-loving puppy again. My only words of advice: be sure to slowly reintroduce him to other dogs. I didn’t and my Annie was never again comfortable making new acquaintances. Smokey has a wonderful life ahead of him with such an obviously loving family!
Kristin,
My heart goes out to poor dear Smokey and all of you. I have pictures of him and his sisters form our visit to your place; they were all such sweet puppies. It’s best that he’s quiet now so his body can spend all it’s energy healing his wounds. Maybe he seems so pensive because he is plotting the mischief he’ll get into when he feels better.
Oh Kristin, it killed me to hear what he and you all had to go through. I really do not take kindly to those who raise dogs who attack puppies. I know you are way too kind but animals that attack are trained to attack.
I can only imagine what the poor little pup is thinking. I think he will start feeling much better as he goes on short little promenades in the safety of his two mamans. I think if this had happened here in the US…well you know that already…
Love to all and special kisses to little pup.
xox
I’m sure the healing power of love and adherence to Catherine’s professional advice will push this horrible incident to the very back recesses of Smokey’s mind and let the playful pup reemerge. Bon courage to you all!
How does 4-9 inches of snow on the front range of Colorado sound??? I’ll be cocooning today and envying Jules in Puerto Vallarta! And to think the temp was in the 80s and we played golf just last Sunday!
Much love to all of you. I want to cuddle Smokey too!!
As usual, I agree with most of the above. Time is what Smokey needs. A family member took in an abused dog and it took 2 years of good treatment, but I’m sure for a puppy the time will be much shorter. Bonne chance!
Dorothy. The rainy season is upon us after
a lovely summer and fall here in coastal BC.
Get well soon Smokey! I know you will! I am such an animal lover, it just kills me to see this happen to a puppy. But he seems to be on the road to recovery. I’m sending positive vibes to you and your family…
Hi Darling Dorothy Dufour,
I don’t think most readers here at FWAD realize that you are one of the first readers to come on board years ago to encourage Kristi with your loving letters of support many years ago. I remember receiving a phone call from Kristi a year or so ago telling me she hadn’t seen any comments from you for a while and how worried she was about you. I am so happy to see you back again on the comment page and how interesting to finally find out where you live in the wonderful world of French-Word-A-Day. XOXO – JULES
It is now pouring rain here in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico – I think the temp. is somewhere in the low 80’s.
He will survive and prosper with your love and attention. My best to all of you.
Today I have tears at the photos. He wants his mother right now….wouldn’t you? He will be fine. Love and time will heal. Introduce the playfulness very slow. Play with favorite toys, start short walks out of the house, onto the patio. Probably the only good thing is that he will never again venture off the property. Give him a tummy tickle for me….I love puppy tummies and feet (they smell like popcorn)
I have been reading your posts for about a year and just love all your stories. I was particularly enjoying the stories of Braise and her family. I was heartsick to hear of the attack on le pauvre petit! Catherine gave you the best possible advice, although it is hard to do. It seems so counter-intuitive to humans who naturally want to comfort someoone in pain. Catherine is right, though, you can’t let Smokey associate his fear with positive reinforcement. What he needs is your good example that there is nothing for him to fear!! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Pat in Pennsylvania Dutch Country (Lancaster County, PA)
Cher Smokey:
Tu as toute la vie devant toi et tu vas guerir. Tu vas recommencer a chasser les papillons dans peu de temps. Je pense a toi, a Braise, et toute ta famille. Je t’embrasse tres tres fort. Janine Cortell
Port Townsend
How heartbreaking! Get well soon Smokey. You are loved and blessed with a wonderful family.
My heart goes out to Smokey and Braise. I sincerely hope Braise feels nurturing and accepting to him. Please continue to let us know how it goes. My mother’s heart is sad over this!
Patricia in warm and sunny Virginia
Poor little toutou. I hope he feels better in all ways soon!It may take some time, but thank goodness he is recovering.We are all rooting for you, Smokey!!
Jan in CT