Re the English writing on a very French wall: "I won't be offended by that," I tell my son, on noticing the "Jesus was a Skater, Jesus was a Punk" graffiti (…by the punk and skater artists, who seem to claim Him as their own).
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Thank you for the fun, delicious, charming, and quirky "Favorite French Words" that many of you shared in the comments box on Monday!
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une égratignure (ay-gra-tee-nyur) noun, feminine
: scratch, scrape
Audio File:
Listen to my son, Max, who talks about his injuries (more, in today's story…) Download MP3 file
Maman, ce n'est que des égratignures, des petites blessures.
Mom, they are only scrapes, small wounds.
A Day in a French Life…
by Kristin Espinasse
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When I have answered all of Max's questions (you have fallen and hit your head, it is Sunday, school finished two weeks ago), he begins the questioning all over again, finishing with the same conclusion: Je croyais que j'étais dans un rêve! I thought I was dreaming! With that he begins to bawl.
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"Pourquoi tu pleures?"* the doctor asks, greeting Max. "Are you in pain?" With that, she begins to gently lift or press: his arms, his peau*–thoroughly examining her patient from head to toe.
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The doctor's skin is licorice black. Her head of braids is tied back into a thick queue de cheval.* She has a charming gap between the two whitest front teeth that I have ever seen, second only to the whites of her eyes, which are soft with sympathy.
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Max answers that he is not in pain, apart from his lower right side. The doctor pushes on it again, and Max's eyes press tightly together confirming la douleur.* He was crying, he tells her, because he can't seem to remember the accident, only the parts leading up to it.
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The doctor nods her head; before she has a chance to give me her professional opinion, I share my own: "He is probably fine…"
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I still wonder if I have overreacted… ever since the split-second decision I took to bring him here to the ER… His dad, who had asked me to wait, had initially suspected that Max was just "doing the cinema"* or putting on an act, in order to get out of the big trouble he was currently in. For what my husband saw, beyond les égratignures*–beyond the scraped elbows and the cut and bloody knuckles, knees, shoulders and nose–was a kid putting on a show for sympathy–for distraction–after having broken the rules, in favor of a dangerous riding spree.
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Jean-Marc rightly sensed that Max's friends (who swore to us that Max had only fallen off his skateboard) were lying and, until he had all of the details, he was unable to make an informed decision as to what action to take next.
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As for me… things were not moving quickly enough!–not since Max was returned to us, thanks to the driver who had pulled over in time to pick up our son off the street, before accompanying all three boys to our house.
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The clock was ticking and I could no longer wait until the boys got their stories straight! Meantime, Max was in a daze, repeating the same words over and over again, pushing me away when I tried to contain him.
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Enough was enough. What were we doing here at home?! Why hadn't Max been driven directly to the ER?! And why were we still interrogating these boys?! What was the use of grilling my son's friends when, meantime, Max was in distress? We needed to get moving! And so, when Jean-Marc went to call the other parents, I ordered the boys to help me get Max into the car, before the two of us sped off, direction les urgences.*
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(It was only a matter of minutes before Jean-Marc got the information that he needed; once he learned that Max had not only fallen off his skateboard, but had fallen off while holding on to the back of his friend's motor scooter, he then believed that the injuries might be more serious, and that a professional examination was in order.)
* * *
The doctor interrupts my apologetic explanation, about how I may have overreacted.
"It is not the dad or the mom whom I listen to, but the child." And while I might have taken offense, somehow her words relieve me. My child is in her hands now, and I can quit obsessing about whether or not I have made the right decision.
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"Your son's repetition–the fact that he is asking the same questions over and over again–this, and the L'hématome* on his head–is a sign of traumatisme cranien.* We will need to do a scanner cérébral.* First, your son will receive une perfusion.* Then, after the scanner and the radiographie* we will have an ambulance transport him to the hospital in Avignon."
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Ambulance? Children's hospital? This is the last time I will ever doubt my maternal instincts!
…But my husband, aka "Papa Poule,"* has healthy instincts of his own. After I have reported the information by telephone to Jean-Marc (who is home, meeting with the parent of the child riding the scooter…) he encourages me to wait and see what the scanner and the radio* will reveal. "He might not have to go to the children's hospital after all." I hope my husband is right.
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Five hours later and we are still at the ER. Max is feeling much better, good enough to correct my French as I respond to the doctor, who tells me that the scanner has come back "normal" and the X-rays show no head (or internal) injuries. The doctor apologizes for the wait, explaining that she wanted to keep Max under surveillance for a while, as a precaution.
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Things move quickly from this point on: a nurse hands Max a clear plastic cup, for a sample just to make sure there is no sang* in the urine. (Negative.) Another nurse cleans all of Max's wounds, bandaging them with gauze the size of a processed cheese wrapper. The application is so thorough and sterile–involving at least three instruments, including tongs–that I wonder whether I will be able to repeat the process from home in three days' time, when it will be necessary to change les pansements.* I decide that a mother's hands, cotton balls, and disinfectant will get us through the rest; the nurse assures me so.
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The doctor suggests my son have one more perfusion of Dolipran,* but Max tells her he is not in pain … and would like to go home now. Permission granted, we are given the X-rays, the ordonnance,* and a paper that reads "Surveillance à domicile en cas de traumatisme cranien chez un enfant."* (We are to wake up our son, two times, during the night, and contact the doctor in case of vomiting.)
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On the ride home Max tells me about the scanner, inside of which he went, after being told when and for how long to hold his breath, so as to remain completely still.
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"Mom," he says, "my nose never itched so bad!"
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My son makes me laugh and I think about what it's like, the urge to scratch, to interfere–yet to have to hold back. And it all brings me back to those inner instincts and the nagging need to follow them. This time I scratched that itch, followed that hunch; I may not have been right–but, boy, am I now relieved.
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Update: Three days later, and Max is almost back to his old self (just a little bit stiff when he walks). He'll begin his "jail sentence" for the virée, or joy ride, just as soon as his two-week arrêt de travail* is up… at which point he'd better be in shape enough to push the vacuum around this house, empty the poubelles,* and wash all the windows!
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Comments, corrections–or stories of your own–are always welcome and appreciated. Please use the comments box.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~French Vocabulary~~~~~~~~~~
la salle (f) de déchoquage = shock room; pourquoi tu pleures? = why are you crying; la peau (f) = skin; la queue de cheval = poneytail; la douleur (f) = pain; doing the cinema (from "faire du cinéma") = to put on an act; une égratignure (f) = a scrape, scratch; les urgences (f,pl) = the emergency ward; un hématome (m) = bruise; le traumatisme (m) cranien = head trama; le scanner (m) cérébral (IRM [MRI] = imagerie par résonance) = brain scanner; une perfusion (f) = drip; une radiographie (f) = X-ray; une radio (f) = abbrev. for radiographie; Papa Poule = Father Hen; le sang (m) = blood; le pansement (m) = bandage, Dolipran = pain medication, see paracetamol; une ordonnance (f) = prescription; Surveillance à domicile en cas de traumatisme cranien chez un unfant = home surveillance in case of child head trama; un arrêt (m) de travail = sick leave; une poubelle (f) = garbage can/bin
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with the death of actress Natasha Richardson from a minor fall on the ski slope in Canada, i don’t think you can underestimate the head trauma after a fall off a skate board or another vehicle or a ladder! Getting it checked by a doctor was the appropriate decision especially when he couldn’t remember the incident. Most results are not tragic like Ms. Richardsons. but it is better to be safe than sorry.
Wow! That was a close call!!
Me, too — with head injuries, there is no such thing as too much caution. You did the right thing, maman…better to spend time and money at urgences for nothing than the alternatives (far too awful to comprehend!)
I’m sure he wasn’t wearing a helmet, either, because at that age, they simply don’t understand that they are NOT immortal, and that you’re being just an unsufferable Mere Poulet for even suggesting he wear a helmet.
Bet he wears one now, even if it’s under the threat of your ire!
If he still continues to give you resistance, point out that Tony Hawk wears a helmet — and so do most of the other guys who compete internationally.
I agree with Madonna – follow those “motherly instincts”. My son fell off his bike at age 13, after being cut off by a car (no witnesses as the car sped away so we had to believe him) and got tar and cinders from the road imbedded in his upper thigh and hand – wearing shorts is not a good idea for bikes yet the Tour de France guys do it all the time, don’t they?!) Anyway, after a trip to the ER and a scheduled plastic surgery scrub of his leg, he healed just fine only to get a baseball thrown into his eye a month later! He is now a married man, father of three girls and is making his monthly trips to the ER too! Guess it goes with the territory no matter where you live!
Jeanne
Your story makes me appreciate what my mother probably went through with me and my trips to the ER. She didn’t drive so she always had to find a ride or get my father home from the office. As Sunny pointed out, we (as youth) tend to think we’re immortal and do (I hate to use the word) stupid things. We used to wait on street corners in the winter when the streets weren’t plowed yet and run behind the cars and grab onto the car’s bumper and slid on our boots – I did it until I hit a patch of snow-free pavement, your feet stop but your body doesn’t.
Glad to hear that Max is OK.
Madonna: I had not heard about Natasha Richardson. How sad! After reading the Wikipedia article I have chills. (And, to think, this happened during a ski lesson!)
Sunny: No. Max was not wearing a helmet. But the boy who was riding the motor scooter– and pulling the boys on their skateboards– was.
You did the right thing!!Natasha Richardson always comes to my mind..and my mom.Always after a head injury..see the doctor.You cannot see without them what is going on inside..I am sooo happy your beautiful Max is perfect.
WE cannot always be everywhere to watch their every move;) One day you can get lucky though and see them doing something you asked them not to..Victory is then yours to let them know on the spot:)
Kristin, Please give the French for this:
Mom,” he says, “my nose never itched so bad!”
Thanks!
Candy
When I looked at the top photo, my first thought was of how I have been “watching” your son grow up!!!
Merci au Bon Dieu qu’il va mieux!!!!!!
(and forgot to say I’m glad he’s okay!)
I think mothers of boys, especially, get used to spending a certain percentage of our lives in the ER…thank heavens, it’s almost always minor, and we hold out our arms for those for whom it’s not.
Bon courage and good luck goes to every “maman” for the future – not an easy job being a mother…
Scary for a Mum! Glad, too, that Max is OK. Chuildren are too precious to spoil hat way.
Your comment about the favorite French words got me looking at the contributions again. One word describes – charming! Thanks to all who shared their own nuggets, from which I felt I learned so much.
I’m happy for you that it turned out okay. As a mom of an 8 year old boy with 5 emergency room trips under his belt (and my own), I constantly operate with the mantra “better safe than sorry” particularly when a head is involved!!!
My kids wear helmets when their French friends do not- on bikes, on scooters. As I tell them “you only get one head, and they aren’t really good at fixing it if you break it”
Bon courage!!!
Mothers instincts are divine gifts..well done!
Just wanted to share that the Pimsleur french CDs are wonderful! Our french exchange student arrived yesterday and I was able to communicate with him. Hopefully they’ll offer specials on their part 2 and 3!
Dearest Kristi,
Just read the latest news about MAX. I am so sorry you had to experience this nightmare. I know the pain you experienced in your gut was much worse than Max’s scrapes. Strange, I was just watching a youtube video of James Dean yesterday where he talks about not speeding on the road. Then it shows how he started racing on the track – and then of course the irony of his death at 24. When I was watching the video I kept thinking “I must send this to Max’ to
shake him up a little about the dangers of the road. I don’t know what to say – I am just so sorry you had to experience this with Max.
Pourquoi no helmet while skateboarding? Here the young boys always wear one, even when cycling. Is it not required en France?
I am so happy to know Max is OK. It’s such a fearful event when something happens to your child. Believe me, je sais.
Annette
My goodness! Between the “Great Canine Escape” and Max’s “Best Imitation of Steve McQueen Ever,” your summer has gotten off to a rollicking good start!! I would lock Jackie in her room until “Le Retour” 🙂
Good grief, Kristin..who knew while we were blissfully pregnant , that parenting would involve such dire moments! Meanwhile, I hope that Max is coming around now. There certainly are no guarantees and you ABSOLUTELY did the right thing by not waiting. On Monday I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle to work(wearing my helmet, always!). Because I am “the adult”, I almost refused medical treatment at the hospital..but when the EMT informed me I was “repeating myself” and I felt the beginnings of a headache, I changed my mind and was transported to the hospital.
Bumps, bruises and a sprained thumb notwithstanding, I still feel like I’ve, well, been hit by a car! With three children, now ages 19,22 & 26, we have been in your situation more times than I can count. In all these situations ALWAYS “go with your gut”. Young people are remarkably resilient and I’m sure Max will be fine, but in all cases you are right “Better safe than sorry”
I once saw on a French wall across the street from a Church that said “Jesus est mort” and then it was written later below it “et ressuscite”. I rather liked the addition that was added later 🙂
Dieu est bon, tout le temps!
Tyler
P.S.: My son, Nick broke his wrist while skateboarding at age 14 years. Because I had just returned from an overnight at the ER with my daughter that morning (she was 17 and had developed a serious kidney infection!), I made him wait three days before seeing the doctor saying “Oh, you must have just sprained it” even tho he insisted it was broken. That one goes down in the books as ‘poor parenting instincts” and he will NEVER let me forget it!
Typo: in vocabulary, should be “scratch”
Good account with happy ending — thanks!
IDEM – (thanks for that word!)
Like the others, I immediately thought of Natasha Richardson, as well as of the recent report on a TV ad man who had the door of the airplane luggage compartment open and *bonk* him on the head – thinking nothing of it BUT dying 2 days after, as a result.
It is good to share these stories as mothers. Not stories of tragedy but of the courage it takes to be a good parent. There are so many times when I feel that I am not cut out for this job. It was a daily challenge to keep them alive when they were toddlers, But on it goes, trying to keep them alive as teens. This summer my daughter obtained her Drivers License. I feel as if I’m sending her into a war zone every time she leaves the house. AND she rides her horse – that’s another worry, even with the helmet! How did my mother do this with 5 children? Fortunately the millions of happy moments far outweigh the unhappy ones.
My kids HATE to wear helmets (even though it is my strictest rule) and it’s a constant battle because when they do put them on, they wear them incorrectly! I wish there was some way to make helmets “cool”. Maybe one day I will get a pro-skater or biker come and speak to them.
Just a second ago, (during this post of my “comment”) I heard noises from the roof and I went outside to take a look. Guess what it was?? My 14 year old son!!! He climbed out his window to “chill”, he said. After feeling my seething glare creep up from ground level to his perch on the second floor, he slowly retreated to his room. Good grief! What was that other word you used last posting? Furax? Je suis furax (the conjugation is not in my 501 French Verb book, is it a verb?). Maybe they should wear helmets all day ?? … and MAYBE along with daily prayers, we moms need daily tranquilizers instead of daily vitamins.
Sorry for the lengthy COMMENT – but it was cathartic. (deep breaths)
I’m so happy that you had a happy ending to your story, Kristin.
Sending you a virtual hug, and to Max – a virtual kiss to his boo-boo. (Is there a French word for boo-boo?)
Kristen, keep an eye on Max through the summer, especially with math and logic. Give him some puzzels to do. I had a concussion around 9 or 10 and ended up getting a couple more because I went back to sports too soon. My math skills degraded quickly the following year, never to recover. Definitely not over-reacting!
Good luck!
My sweetie fell backwards on an icy roof while at work in January. He was by himself and thankfully was coherant enough to get himself to the ER. Subdural hematoma, three days hospitalization and he is still recovering from the jarring. We both keep remembering Natasha Richardson and realize how very lucky he is. Very good thing you took Max to the hospital. Never take chances with head injuries-if in doubt go to the ER immediately!
Having a son, I completely understand that urgency to tread on the side of caution (how would that be translated?) The last time I was in the ER with Andy (a skater, snowboarder, football and soccer player) I remember him pointing to numerous beds saying “I’ve been in that bed, and that bed and that bed . . . ” About that time a nurse came by and said, “I thought you looked familiar”! 🙂 When he had just begun snowboarding and good friend of ours at church had a horrible accident snowboarding without a helmet and was in a coma for 2 weeks. Thankfully, he came out of it with no lasting injuries, but that event made Andy realize that no matter how “un-cool” it may look to have a helmet, it is the best protection possible. I told him “they can mend broken bones, but not a broken head!” He’s 27 now and always wears his helmet. But I can soooo relate to your experience with Max. I pray that he heals quickly. PS. Am so enjoying watching the Tour de France! (BTW, who is the other “Candy”?)
By the time I get up to read my “Kristin” blog on the West Coast, everything that needs to be said has been said. But I ma glad Max is OK – and ditto on following your instincts. As the Mother of two boys (now 20 and 23) I, too, have been in more ER’s than I can count! And I can honestly say I’ve never EVER been regretful that I went. Imagine, if I was regretful, for NOT following my instincts? Now there’s a scenario I know I could never live with. What would we do without our “boys” (both old and young)to take care of? Hugs, Robin
PS The ad for the apartment looks great! I’m so excited! Merci, rk
I would like to, if I may, take this space to thank the numerous readers who expressed interest in my “petit guide de Paris”. If there are others out there who would like to see it you may email me at candywitt@msn.com. I loved putting it together as I love being able to share my most favorite city in the world from the eyes of a former French teacher. Thank you!
I hope everything is okay for all of you, esp. Max, from here on out. Best regards.
R
Dear Kristin,
So glad Max is well…I would do exactly the same, and so lucky to receive good care. In a big city things are not always so efficient, even those with gunshot wounds have to wait and fill out papers…really. I never thought egratinure would be used, it sounds too big but now I know better.
xo
Two weeks ago my daughter was showing off her backstroke racing with her friend and hit her head at the other end of the pool. She was disoriented in the water, and flopping around as if she would drown in the shallow end. I dove in before the life guard, pulled her out and began examining her. the exaggerated disorientation only made me more desperate. Apparently, she emailed the script she was performing to Max! Almost word for word. and yes, I did exactly as Kristin, ER, MRI, internal debate, and of course, Kelly was fine; we left with same over night instructions Kristen got. The hospital hours in wet clothes. particularly the wet jeans took a toll on my back the next day. But I would not do anything differently next time. Concussions present various degrees of latent trauma. I monitored Kelly’s speech, eye sight and motor skills for a few days and tested her short and long term memory for the week that followed. Of course without her knowledge, I cannot give this Drama Diva a head trauma excuse for every thing she selectively forgets to do.
Never, ever hesitate to take a kid to the ER if he/she has hit his/her head! There are too many invisible possibilities to take even the slightest chance. Good for you for not waiting around to get the story from the boys (I have 3, one of whom is a skater, so I know the drill well).
Grace a Dieu Max is OK! Good work, Mom.
He’ll be okay, he’s still growing. But get him to wear a helmet. As tough as they are, and they are tough, all the riders in the current Tour de France wear helmets (tell Max). Pro skateboarders and Olympic skateboarders wear helmets. Hockey players wear them. Skiers wear them. Rock climbers wear them. It’s a must. I hit my head on a rock when I was about 9-10, and I never forgot it. It’ll change his behaviour forever (although that won’t be noticeable to you soon). It’s all a part of growing up.
He dodged a bullet this time. God love you Max.
Kristi….so happy that Max’s experience was no more than a scare and a day of interminable waiting….and waiting….. Never be afraid to do what your heart and instincts tell you….you will always be the winner in the end! Les bises à tous!
Kristin, being the way you are, and Jean-Marc being the way he is… together, the two of you make great parents! God Bless.
Yes, now is the time, while Max and you are still shaken from this traumatic event, to drum into his head the exceptional importance of wearing safety gear – helmet, gloves, elbow and knee pads while practicing his acrobatic skateboarding, wearing a helmet whether he is riding on the back of his friends scooter or riding his bike. Max needs to learn to recognize risk and practice risk control and avoidance sensibly.
Your maternal alarms should have been sounding off MUCH sooner if it was you who took the photos of Max sans protective gear, above.
Remerciez les deux everything turned out ok. As a father of 2 boys I know just what you have been through. And we all survived! The most memorable trip to the ER was when they both broke their collarbones playing football (10 minutes apart, separate games). As an aside to Max: Wear a helmet. It’s much more cool than than the consequences. I used to work with a young man (12 at the time) who fell off his brother’s motorcycle. No helmet. No trip to the ER until he was unconscious the next day. He required surgery and was clinically dead for 12 minutes. He has mental issues still, and for the rest of life. Wear the brain bucket.
Jean Marc (l’autre)
I’m so glad Max is okay but what a scare that must have been. I thought of the British actress who had what seemed like a minor head bump and then died from it!
It’s great that you have an MRI near you. I have the impression you are in a small town, where such expensive devices aren’t often available.
Poor Max now
Kristin, so glad to hear that Max is ok and that you were courageous enough to listen to the voice in your head that said go to ER even when Jean Marc said not too. It’s easy to doubt oneself and not listen to that little voice in your head but it’s there for a reason.
Just a minor spelling correction child is spelled enfant with an e instead of a u.
bisous a tous,
Kristin,
Ah, memories. Chris fell during recess (age 7, and he was actually pushed by the principal’s bully son); I had gone to New York for the day to produce some radio spots and got the call in the studio. His big sister, a dear friend, and a pal of mine who is a radiologist intervened. They admitted him to the hospital for observation as he did have a slight concussion… but it was late afternoon till I could catch a bus back home. Did I mention that this was before cell phones??? I don’t remember how I got from the bus station to the hospital, but I found him in bed, cheery as could be, considering all of this a fascinating adventure. Pas moi!
In short, there’s a special place in heaven for mothers of boys. I am sure of it.
Sorry to hear what happened to your son and glad he is better. Your pictures remind me of my son. My heart was in my throat often but he loved it. Thankfully, he is past that stage and has made it to 24! Hang in there. Boys are a joy!
Pauvre petit. Toi aussi. ER was the best idea and I am glad all is moving along well.
No helmets, knee guards, elbow guards in France? And his friend was driving the motor scooter — his friend is how old?!
Of course, when I was a child, we never wore helmets or any of the rest of the protective gear when we cycled or roller skated (pre-skateboard) and I am sure we’d have whined up a storm if we’d had to — so who am I to be saying, “Tsk, tsk”?
The stupidest thing I ever did was a sideways jump off the front garden wall in roller skates. The wall was about three feet off the ground at sidewalk level and the idea was that I would whizz down the sloped front path and come to a graceful stop in the porch. At the planning stage, the path seemed very long but in fact it was probably around 15 feet. The sideways jump got me about a quarter of the way down. My feet immediately shot out from under me, my head banged on the path, which was tiled, and I slammed feet first, very loudly into the front door. I scrambled up, threw myself over the side wall, and ducked down, but my mother must have been outside in the back garden because she didn’t come rushing out — fortunately, as I don’t think she would have been sympathetic to the the experiment.
I got away with a very bad headache, about which I naturally said nothing, and a large bump that made brushing my hair painful. On the positive side, the experience suggested to me that my careful calculations, as I eyed the distance from the upper level bathroom window to the lawn, might not be as good as I thought, and I probably wouldn’t be able to launch myself far enough out that I’d miss the patio. And even if I did manage to land on the lawn, I just might hurt myself.
I now have a distinct feeling of déja vu. I think I’ve posted about this before. Maybe that bang on the head did more damage than I realized!
Always go to the ER if there is any hint of head trauma. TBI – Traumatic Brain Injuries are serious things. Unfortunately my brother had a bad stroke. His rehab therapy was filled with people who had fallen off ladders, been in car accidents etc. Many of them are permanently damaged. And it isn’t just physical problems. The saddest are the personality damages that can result – lack of impulse control, loss of memory, change in demeanor. They survive and walk aound fine but arent the person they use to be. it can destroy a family. Which of course brings up safety gear. For years I used to laugh at all the over safe moms armoring their kids to ride a bike or ski. Not anymore.
Where anyone is concerned, and especially a child, it is always better to be safe than sorry. You did the right thing, having Max checked out. Not every injury is obvious, or manifests itself immediately, but it can still have negative effects.
All is well that ends well – tout est bien qui finit bien, et j’en suis tres contente.
Good for your motherly instincts. So happy that you listened to them. It could have been really serious and I’m glad he’s OK. Does he refuse to wear a helmet? Perhaps now he can be convinced. Bon courage. Cynthia in the French Alps
Get well soon, Max! So glad to hear it wasn’t too serious! Kristin, I agree that deux précautions valent mieux qu’une! You were wise to get him checked out. 🙂