My grandmother is on a journey. I hope there are French bikes in Heaven!
le paradis (pah-rah-dee) noun, masculine
: paradise
: the gallery, the gods
le Paradis terrestre = the Garden of Eden
le paradis fiscal = tax haven
l’oiseau de paradis = bird of paradise
aller au / en Paradis = to go to Heaven
My Grandma Audrey passed away yesterday. My sister made the call and I could hear the news in her voice before the words were delivered.
“I tried to call her several times this week…” I answered.
“I did too,” Heidi assured.
I thought about the nursing home, where my grandmother spent the last season of her life. I pictured a television on the wall, from which inspiration often struck her, at which point she would become the heroine from the latest show… or infomercial:
“I’m wearing my pretty white sundress,” she told me, last time we talked on the phone. “We’re having a beauty contest this afternoon–and *I* am in the running!”
“Do you think you’ll win?” I asked, playing right along with this latest production, “The Nursing Home Beauty Contest”.
“Oh, I’ll give it my best shot!” Grandma said, and I could almost hear her smoothing down her “dress” in pride and admiration of it. But a sundress in snowy Salt Lake City? I could never tell, during one of these conversations, whether Grandma was pulling my leg or, more likely, living in her imagination. Her voice was always so clear, sprinkled with a touch of Southern Stubborn.
“She is in a better place now,” my sister stated, comfortingly.
I have to believe that Heidi is right. Still, as I look into the mirror this morning, at the long face staring back at me, I find my faith faltering again.
“If I truly believed in Heaven,” I reasoned, I wouldn’t feel guilt or regret right now–but relief! I’d feel happiness for my grandmother….”
I am spending the morning renewing my faith, not because it comforts
me–but because faith is the “Instructions” book that guides me when I
don’t know where to step, when I can no longer see….
I am picturing my beautiful grandmother in her flowing white sundress! Beyond a shadow of doubt, it’s now clear to see that my Grandma Audrey won that beauty contest, yes siree!; plucked up as she was in the night — right out of her nursery home bed in time to collect her prize–that golden crown: Heaven’s glimmering halo over her head.
Post note: During a recent call to our grandmother, my sister wanted Grandma to be sure to know that Jesus was waiting for her, and that she, too, would see Grandma again one day. Grandma joked, “That’s what they tell me.”
Last night at the end of her telephone call, Heidi encouraged me to call our mom, with whom she had just shared the news. “Remember,” Heidi said, “(Our) mom has lost her own ‘Mommy’.” That last word went right to the heart and I could almost see my mom’s plump 5-year-old hand, reaching up to try and clasp her mother’s, ever searching for that connection.
Now for a request: Because my mom, “Jules”, and my family read this column–and each and every comment–I would like to once again ask you to send *virtual* flowers to the comments box–this time for my Grandma Audrey and also for her loved ones: Jules, my Aunt Reta, my Uncle Rusty… also for my sister, Heidi, and my cousin Mike.
Just pick a person & send a virtual fleur (i.e.: “tulips for Uncle Rusty from Rémi in Beaverton” or “kangaroo paw for Heidi from Gretel in Sydney” or “a magnolia for Aunt Reta from Fred & Nancy”).
With much appreciation (and dare I say love?) for bringing cheer to my family and me. I can’t think of a better way to rendre hommage to Audrey. I hope you will agree.
Amicalement,
Kristin
Grandma Audrey with Jean-Marc (2005)
Visiting Jules, in Mexico (thank you, Mom, for the photos).
With all our love, Grandma!
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Having already received daffodils (my favorite flower!), I will instead send you the tiniest of bluets which are scattered here and there in my already-awakening lawn. Their sweet little tiny faces of indescribable blue, will perhaps remind you of the face of your dear Audrey. I remember when I lost my own dearest grandma in 1995 (she was 91) when I was 35. I miss her so much still. Do not be troubled, Kristin. You probably DO believe she is in a better place – it’s part of missing her that makes you feel regret. But, it’s Mardi Gras, and Audrey would want you to celebrate.
Birds of paradise to all of you as you remember your beautiful Audrey in Paradise. What beautiful memories you must all have of her. From the lovely photos you posted, I know she must have won that beauty contest.
Dear Christine… I know how hard it is when family is separated by miles of land and ocean. The closeness you have is wonderful… and treasured. To all in your family; flowers and memories, and laughter to last forever. Your smile poem is still touring the email circuit. Merci.
Patience Tekulsky in L.A.
The azaleas are blooming in Houston in every color under the Texas sun. Today they are for you and for your family! Peach and love be with you all. Beaucoup de bisous, Joanne
In this difficult time I send to you all a bunch of wild sunflowers from the mesas of New Mexico. May their cheerful faces remind you of sweet memories.
An armful of fragrant pink peonies to you, Kristin, and to Jules, Heidi, and all of your family.
My sympathy to all of you. May you remember grandma Audrey’s life with joy!
Dear Kristin and family,
What a full beautiful life Audrey lived. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, but feel assured you will smile at her memory and carry her heart with you all the rest of your days. Sending you a beautiful bouquet of lavender from this lavender lady in Nebraska. Peace to all of you.
Dear Kristin, Jules, Heidi and all of the family,
My crocuses here in Ohio will be showing up soon. I send you pretty crocuses in celebration of your beautiful Audrey’s life. May she rest in peace in Paradis!
Marianne
Despite our drought and ‘crunchy’ grass, I have beautiful roses flowering in my garden at the moment. So I offer them and their fantastic fragrance for you and your family Krisitin, in honour of your Grandma Audrey.
My thoughts are with you
with love
Christine, Melbourne
Dear Jules, Kristin and families,
I send you all a sweet pea, a flower with a heavenly scent,for the Gramma who is cute as a button, with a wonderful, warm smile, like the one I see on the faces of Jules and Kristin in the many lovely photos you have posted.
Kristin and Jules, Please accept an armful of illegally picked Indian Paintbrush from the side of a Texas Highway. Your Grandmere and Mere must have inspired the artist in both of you, and through you, she lives.
I am sending you all a pond full of lotus blossoms to lift you and reassure you
that your Grandma Audrey has only changed form and will be with you always. I am so sorry for your sadness. May your love for her and her love for all of you bouy your hearts and spirits now. Wishing you peace and blessings.
from Claudia in Montecito,Ca.
The California poppies are beginning to bloom early this year – an entire hillside for your family to remind you of the warmth of your grandmother’s smile and love. Ann in California
white lilies for your grandmother, I am sorry for your loss
Wild Oregon grape and salal with early wild iris for Mom Jules from Mom Jodi in Oregon.
Just like the Valentine’s Day bouquet I sent…three dozen Irises[Blue and White]..French flowers fit for a King of France in a vase surrounded by Hydrangeas to Kristin for all of her toil.
A single yellow rose for Grandma Audrey, violets for Kristi, iris for Jules, lilies of the valley for Heidi and daisys for Aunt Reta, Uncle Rusty & Mike from Susan in Southern California.
Purple, white and pink crocus to Jules, Kristi and Heidi. These shy little flowers peek up through the snow to remind us that beauty and life abound, when we least expect it, even on a cold winter day. My thoughts are with Grandma Audrey and all of her “kids” as her long and happy life is celebrated in Heaven and on Earth!
Dear Kristin,Heidi, Mike, Reta, Rusty & the entire family & friends who loved Grandma Audrey,
I send you golden yellow forsythia that will soon be blooming throughout Central Park in loving memory of Grandma Audrey.
With my warmest regards,
Joy Flynn
Manhattan
Kristin,
Your grandmother is absolutely gorgeous in these photos! My snowdrops are coming up in the garden outside my window…here in cold New England. So, I’m sending snowdrops your way. Now…how does one say “snowdrops” en francais?
For Jules, a bouquet of “forget-me-nots” because you surely shall not forget your beautiful mother.
From Tom in Detroit.
A big bunch of white tulips (Audrey Hepburn’s favorite) to your Grandma Audrey, from Susan & Julie the Cat. Bunches of daffodils to all the rest as it is nearly St. David’s Day in Wales (though I am in Washington, DC). xoxo to all of you.
To Jules and family;
At this time of the year, I always
think of lilacs and lily of the valley. A more fragrant bouquet
you could never find and they so remind me of spring and whats coming, not whats been.
Susan
To Jules, we send our joy that her mother Audrey lived with beauty, grace, and dignity to an advanced age. May be we all be so lucky! In her honor, we open a bottle of good French champagne in salute! She has left fond memories in the minds and hearts of her family – surely we aspire to do the same. For Aubrey, we shall plant rosemary when the weather permits, for remembrance. Many-fold tiny, starlike flowers will twinkle among green fragrant leaves, reminding us of this lovely lady and the love she invoked in family and friends.
An armful of lavender for Grandma Audrey and a room full of forget-me-nots. Grandma Audrey sounded like a woman full of life. My prayers to you Kristin, and your family. To Jules, Aunt Reta, Uncle Rusty, Heidi and Mike – God Bless.
Dear Kristin and Family,
My dearest sympathies go out to you and your family. I live in Lehi, UT just 20 minutes south of SLC and my father passed away just this past Feb 11th and know the pain that is felt during this difficult time. Thankfully we have loving memories of our loved ones and beautiful flowers to remind us God’s grace, love and beauty and the promise of Spring. For your family I send all the wildflowers of the Albion Basin of the Wasatch Mountains which sits and watches over SLC and our loved ones.
See http://www.davidjwest.com/index.php#mi=2&pt=1&pi=10000&s=3&p=9&a=0&at=0 for pictures of the flowers.
Sunflowers and deepest sympathy to all the family.
Kathleen, New Mexico
To Kristin, Heidi, Jules and family, fields of yellow daffodils in spring as a reminder of the many happy memories of your grandmother.
A bouquet, no, a whole field of sunflowers for you and all your family, Kristin. From Steven on Kaua’i.
Sending sprays of beautiful almond blossom from the flowering orchards of Chico, California — for Heidi, Kristin and Jules. May they comfort you in your loss.
Just bloomed yellow and purple crocuses from my garden to you Kristin and Jules and your family in these sad times. Toutes mes condoléances. Anne
Kristi – I send you and your family a huge, (can’t even get my arms around it), bouquet of white lilies. A reminder that we are all but “lilies in the field”. My sympathy is with you as it is never easy to say good-bye.
MY DEAREST FRIENDS,
YOUR BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS ARE HEALING MY HEART.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE.
XOXO
JULES
for Kristin… a big heartfelt hug…
amicalement
Gretel
Dear Kristin and family,
Having lost my father-in-law in France yesterday, your post struck a very deep chord with me. I’m sending a garden full of purple irises to everyone in your family. Irises represent everything that we all hold so dear in our loved ones: cherished friendship, hope, valor, wisdom and faith. I also have heard that the spear-shaped foliage represents a heart pierced with sorrow. As everyone seeks solace and comfort from one another, may the days ahead be ones of healing that help all of us move foward with turning our sorrows into joy and celebrations of life.
To Jules,
God has a way of providing a heart the words it needs to hear – even from a heart it has never met! My “tulips” to you in the midst of your tears gave your words to me in the midst of my really needing a surprise pick-me-up! Thank YOU. (You may be the subject of an upcoming post on my blog – hope that’s ok!) Continued thoughts and prayers to you during this time.
Rebecca
A huge bunch of almond blossoms to you,Kristen,Jules, Aunt Reta, Uncle Rusty, Heidi, and Mike. No, we don’t have les amandiers blooming in Pennsylvania, but I imagine they are just about ready to bloom in Provence.
For you, Kristen, and for Jules and all your family, armloads of colorful columbine from Colorado. Delicate, feminine, spreading, changing color, coming up anew each year, in remembrance of your beloved grandmother.
Canna lilies, bold, beautiful red, a joyous color for the journey of joy, your dear grandmother is now enjoying. She had a lovely twinkle in her eyes; may you find healing in your sweet memories of your beloved Grandma Audrey. God bless you all.
A bouquet of pink carnations for your grandmother Audrey. They are my mine and my mother’s favourite flower.
Dear Kristin and family,
My family sends its deepest condolences on the loss of your grandmother. In her honor a lady’s slipper with wings to be with each other, and a well for your fondest memories.
Sincerely,
Betty Gleason
Tulips and daffodils and muguets to Audrey! Big hugs to Kristin and Jules!
To Jules, Uncle Rusty, Kristin, Heidi and Mike,
A big bunch of early spring daffodils, hyacinth and lots of spring blossoms from California. Our sincere condolences to your family – you are in you thoughts and prayers.
To Jules and Family ~
So sorry for your loss . I really imagined your grandma spinning around in her white dress all smiles in heaven . I send you and your family beautiful sunny Sunflowers which remind me of a big smiling face ! I send your grandma in heaven gorgeous fields of fragrant lavender in which to spin around in with her white dress !
Cyndi White
Dear Kristin, Jules and everyone else touched by the life of this lovely woman.
I am sending you branches of pink and white quince, pear, plum, almond and apricot blossoms unfolding with pale green leaves in the early spring sun. As you watch them unfurl from their tight little nests of protection, know that your hearts too are melting and softening from the held place of loss of your dear.
What a spirit she has! She will definitely live on through you and on and on in cellular memory. But also, she is just not material right now. Actually, you may find you can actually experience her core of love maybe even more now that she is so free to expand!
The last are my beliefs. Take what touches you and please leave the rest behind.
Much love and blessings to you all,
Ahulani
I am sending you a beautiful armload of double white french lilacs. White because there is snow on the ground,
because it is the symbol of purity and because of your lovely white-haired grandmother. Treasure the memories and count yourself lucky for being able to share in her life.
irises for Kristen, Heidi, Jules and family.
I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother’s passing. I am sending you life’s perfect little flower- a vase full of daisies. They are unpretentious and dainty…they are wild, natural, and remind us that there are always reasons to be cheerful, even during the worst of times.
Dear Kristin, Jules, and family~
Your Grandmother Audrey was such a beautiful woman and I am sure she had the same bright and unique personality as you. I am sending you all of my favorite flowers – ivory peonies and roses, lily of the valley, and gardenia…and will keep you all in my thoughts.
Kristin and your dear ones and Jules and all
family
I send a bouquet of cut white roses, white
freesia and white tulips to you in memory of
Audrey, the individual who had so many
personas, one for each of you. After all these years of words from Kristin, I feel that I know all of you and my empathy for you is boundless. I am a wee bit late, but I just lost a contemporary and I have been away from this wonderful means of communication.
In all friendship, Betty Cleveland